Festivus for the rest of us

It was quite a nice lil shindig on Thursday night at Motor City. Here's a few pics from the very drunken night.

Um..... HOLLLLERRRRRRR

This is the last reminder of our holiday get together tonight.

We'll be making a list and checking it twice

and if you aren't there,

well let's just say TPM's other specialty is:

Medieval torture...

The first part of January is shaping up to be a dream for me, since I'll be in Tapes 'N Tapes heaven. They are now playing:
Jan. 7th @ The Delancy
Jan. 8th @ Pianos
Jan. 9th @ The Mercury Lounge
and...wait for it....

with TPM's very close personal friend- Noah Chernin of Sam Champion!
Thank you Jason from Productshop- for making this midwesterner's new year's resolution to see the same band play four times in one week come true. This beats my previous three Wolf Parade shows in a week during 2005.

Boozalicious Party Tomorrow!

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Please don't forget to peruse our TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2005 BELOW!

Totes...Probs...Faves of 2005

ANNOUNCING THE FIRST EVER

"TOP 10 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR" TO BE POSTED ON A BLOG...

THIS HAS NEVER BEEN DONE ANYWHERE BEFORE....

SO FEEL PRIVILEGED TO WITNESS THIS MOMENT IN HISTORY.

Totes..Probs...Faves of 2005

Dane: If I could I would just have repeated #'s 1&2 over and over.
1. Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary
* Well, duh, ask anyone: WP=Dana, Dana=WP. Best music I've heard in EVER. If God were to write a song, it would sound just like "I'll Believe Anything."
2. Tapes 'N Tapes - The Loon
*Del told me people who love WP would love TnT- this is not a rumor, it's a trumor. I love this band.
3. The White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan
* Never was a WS fan until I heard this album, I guess I was in a "Denial Twist"- get it? neither do I...
4. Art Brut - Bang Bang Rock and Roll
* Lead singer Eddie Argos had me chanting "Modern Art makes me want to rock out" so passionately, I destroyed a Gauguin... and I love me some Gauguin.
5. Spoon - Gimme Fiction
*Finally got into Spoon this year thanks to this album...I also watched Mere fall down some stairs at one of their shows...classic TPM move, classic TPM album.
6. Love As Laughter- Laughter's Fifth
* Sam Jayne's voice is too cute. I heart him and his makeshift heart.
7. Apollo Sunshine - Apollo Sunshine
* Loved these Katatonia, MA boys for awhile- mark my words- the xylophone is the new lead guitar- tho they can also wail on their Fenders like it's nobody's bidness.
8. And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead- World's Apart
* This band is all over the place and I love it- they make me want to cry, beat your face, and then make sweet sweet love all in one song.
9. The National- Alligator
* Sometimes I get frustrated with their lyrics, but then the lead singer croons "I'm so sorry for everything" and I melt.
10. Augustana- All The Stars and Boulevards
* Yes I work with them, but who cares, this album has amazingly beautiful tunage.

Mere:
1. New Pornographers- Twin Cinema
*This is the album that helped inspire me to start doing indie rock aerobics at shows much to the dismay of hipsters everywhere. And Neko Case does an amazing Stevie Nicks cover - I LOVE covers.
2. Decemberists- Picaresque
*A whimsical tale of whales and mariners that makes me want to hit the open sea - I am also obsessed with the accordian/keyboard player.
3. Kanye West- Late Registration
My boo is a lyrical genius and Gold Digga is one of the best jams of the year.
4. Shout Out Louds- Howl, Howl, Gaff, Gaff
*Not to sound like a dork but this album just makes me smile every time I hear it
5. Tom Vek- We Have Sound
*It is amazing what one person can accomplish (whoa, did I really say that?)
6. Doves- Some Cities
*One of my favorite bands to see live or to listen to while driving
7. Spoon- Gimme Fiction
*I like Spoon so much that I fell down the stairs at their last NYC show. They make me weak in the knees.
8. LCD Soundsystem- LCD Soundsystem
*I like dancing and sweating almost as much as Jay does.
9. Art Brut- Bang Bang Rock and Roll
*Cocky Brits are totally my thing.
10. Youth Group- Skeleton Jar
* I like to put this album on and cry every time I realize that I'll never be Australian or a good singer.

Rach:
1. White Stripes- Get Behind Me Satan
* Jack still freaks me out big time but wow, I love it when he sings about Rita
Hayworth and his door bell. Whenever Blue Orchid comes on, I always flash back to
rockin out in Hawkins car on the way back from seein the Pixies at Jones Beach, thinkin, "Holy shit, this album sounds so much more badass in this Subaru Outback."
2. New Pornographers- Twin Cinema
* These guys are so pop-tastic, I really can't get enough! Like Christmas Gift
basket confections, you just cannot stop yourself! That Neko really knows what's up and every tune on the album is conducive to a wide array of indie rock aerobic
moves. And 1,2,3,4, fist pump right, grape vine it out! Use it Toniiiiiiight!
3. Spoon- Gimme Fiction
* Britt can do no wrong, "I Turn My Camera On" is the most sultry summer jam ever! Ok, accept for "Its Gettin Hot In Herre"
4.Wolf Parade- Apologies to the Queen Mary
* I'll Believe in Anything...that Dana tells me to. Wasn't a hard sell, I obvs heart
Canadians.
5. M.I.A.- Arular
* What can I get for $10? Anything you want! How can you not jump around your Fire Island rental's kitchen when this shit comes on?
6. Sufjan Stevens- Come On Feel The Illinoise
* So smooth, so epic - I close my eyes and get whisked away to the Midwest.
Mmmm, corn.
7. Kaiser Chiefs- Employment
* Balcony or no, I predict... that this will always be my favorite Bowery
Ballroom concert.
8. LCD Soundsystem- LCD Soundsystem
* Cow bell will make transit workers stop striking, make your ass look smaller in those jeans and LCD's music sound delicious!
9. Apollo Sunshine- Apollo Sunshine
* Jesse and the gang will get you do si do-ing in no time with twammy (twangy +
jammy) goodness!
10. Supergrass- Road to Rouen
* 'Member when the little one tried to push the big one into the trash? This album
is rugged!

Del: Tough as balls to pick a top ten this year because I thought tons of great stuff came out, I could do a top 30 list easy, but I don't want to bore you to death. So here goes:

10. Bloc Party- "Silent Alarm": They like Gang of Four a lot. So what? So do I. Seeing them play "Banquet" under the tent at Coachella might have been the funnest few minutes of the year for me.
9. M.I.A.- "Arular": I don't really know what you call this music, but I call it infectious as fuck. Not since the Clash made music has a political record made me want to dance so badly.
8. LCD Soundsystem- "s/t" : This guy wears so many of his musical influences on his sleeves, thank God he's got such a great record collection.
7. Wolf Parade- "Apologies to the Queen Mary": Dana will probably kill me that this isn't higher on my list, but I really do love every song on this album and expect great things from these weirdos.
6. The White Stripes- "Get Behind Me Satan": Who were the people that didn't love this album? Show 'em to me and I'll convince them otherwise. Jack and Meg are always impressing me and this album ranks as some of their best stuff in my opinion.
5. Sufjan Stevens- "Come On Feel the Illinoise": I must admit that I don't always make it all the way through this album and frankly I don't even need to sometimes. There is so much beauty packed onto the front part of this album that I was always going back to the beginning hearing new stuff all the time.
4. My Morning Jacket- "Z": Jim James is a bad ass, that much is obvious. He had always produced his own albums before, but I'm glad he got the assistance of former Radiohead producer John Leckie to help him out on his strange fantastic spacey album.
3. Spoon- "Gimme Fiction": Their best album yet? Maybe. Maybe not. Tough to say, but why argue when they're all so good. These Austin boys really have an unmistakeable sound thats all their own and continue to blow me away every time I see them.
2. The New Pornographers-"Twin Cinema": Carl Newman could take a dump in the recording studio and I'm pretty sure that it would still sound great and that I would run out to get it. There's always so much stuff going on in a New Porns release that sometimes its a bit overwhelming, but if you are patient with it you will be rewarded handsomely.
1. Black Mountain- "s/t": For some reason I keep coming back to this album and I think its the record that impressed me the most all year. I couldn't recommend it enough. You will need: Headphones. Eyes closed. Enjoy.

(a note from dana- I tried to keep the format consistent when posting this, but I give up- I need to figure out a way to get home instead!)
a friendly reminder to not forget the festivities this thursday

Has Anyone Seen My Jacket - No Seriously!

I went to pick up my jacket at Quo last night (they confirmed with me twice that they had it) but wouldn't you know it somehow between 6-7 pm it had suddenly disappeared without a trace. Are you effing kidding me?!?!?! I'm pretty good at remaining calm in these type of situations but inside I was SO mad. I mean obvioiusly someone who works at the club stole it and is prancing around town in MY favorite coat. Anyways, long story short, even though Quo claims no responsibility for my coat they didn't want me to leave empty handed so they gave me a voucher for a comped bottle and table service anytime I want. First I thought I don't ever want to go there again - thanks for nothing! But then as I thought about it some more I realized the joke was on them because they just gave me, the girl who got kicked out twice on Friday night, an entire bottle of booze to drink in their crappy establishment! Who's coming with me????

HOLIDAY PARTY.... TPM STYLE!

WE KNOW YOU WANT IT.

AND SO WE ARE HERE TO GIVE IT TO YOU.

HARD AND FAST... LIKE YOU LIKE IT.

(click on image to read the invite)

Holiday Shenanigans are so Very

December 2005 has officially destroyed me and I've loved every second of it! Well, at least the parts I can remember. This past weekend was epic to say the least. It all started with my disappearance on Thursday night on the way out of the Big Hassle party. When fueled by alcohol I am one sneaky little bugger - take your eyes off me for one second and I will most definitely disappear. I resurfaced early Friday morning and headed over to Hammerstein where I had the pleasure of working the Jingle Ball pre-event with Z100. Nothing cures a hangover better than listening to 6 hours of Z100! In the end it was all worth it though as everyone who worked scored tickets to the big show that night at MSG!

Christian was the obvious choice to bring as my date due to his love for pop culture and all things Mariah. We hung out in the VIP lounge to avoid Frankie J's performance and ran into the extremely sweaty and revolting Don Vito of Viva La Bam fame. After staring at him from a distance and playing would you rather (would you rather take a shot out of his belly button or give him a full-body tongue bath?) it was finally decided that I would take a picture with him. As you can see in the photo he really digs me and showed his appreciation by grabbing my boob - nothing turns me on more than a dirty old man - ew, sick!

The show was an absolute blast and I may or may not have screamed like a 13 year old girl when the Backstreet Boys played "I Want it That Way". Christian and I also acted out a mock music video and accosted drunk people in the hallways of MSG - wait, or were we the drunk people? The highlight of the show was definitely Kanye West who I will only refer to as my boo from now on. My boo was on fire - a true lyrical genius. After the show there was the after party at Quo where I ran into Chris Kirkpatrick's body guard, got my picture taken for the joonbug website, fell asleep on a banquet, lost my ID, left my jacket in the coat check and ultimately got kicked out (twice) and put in a cab by a co-worker. Killer performance.

Saturday started with the requisite phone calls to find out exactly how unruly I had been and culminated with an even more raucous evening than the previous night. The night went a little something like this. Dana, Rachel, Niki, Jiji and myself took off for Brooklyn around 8:30 and showed up at Jen's party armed with 3 bottles of champagne, a bottle of chambord, a flask of Jack Daniels and a bottle of egg nog. If that doesn't scream dangerous levels of intoxication to follow than I don't know what does. Jen and her roomies were fabulous hosts and after hiding in the corner and comsuming our combined weights in spinach dip, the dance party officially began. Jiji drops it hotter than anyone I know and Rachel, Dana and Niki are masters of the hair flip. I was more or less trying to keep up with Jiji and only managed to fall 4-5 times and obtain an equal number of colorful bruises. We made cham-chams (champagne and chambord) for everyone and eventually took to swigging out of any bottle we could find. This resulted in my worst fall of the night - head-first into the stove - and my eventually swearing off my friends to continue my brooklyn adventure solo which is never a good idea.




The other TPM girls ended up sneaking a bottle of egg nog into No Malice Palace and taking pulls in the bathroom while making fun of upper east siders. I ended up sleeping on a sofa bed on the upper east side. Let me explain. I made the unfortunate mistake of only grabbing my camera and jacket from Jen's house and only realized this when we pulled up to my apartment. I had the cab driver and Jen's brother searching the entire van with a flashlight before deciding that we should just go and try to get into my apartment some other way. The plan I came up with in my drunken stupor was to see if my "roommate" was home - I actually live alone and apparently forgot this tiny detail. Now here comes the best part - wait for it, wait for it - I went with Jen's brother on his booty call. Luckily I know the girl and she couldn't have been nicer about letting me sleep on her sofa bed, but talk about an awkward situation! The next morning (after thinking I was in my apt for a good 10 minutes) we all had a nice laugh about it, met Jen for lunch and laughed at me some more. Good times!

Sunday I had a whiskey game night dinner party for TPM minus the whiskey or the games. We were way better off with just food and Family Guy. I can safely say that this weekend will go down as one of my drunkest in 2005 and that I still don't feel quite right. Doesn't mean I won't be ready to do it all again on Thursday - TPM's got a little something in the works. Stay tuned!

And for your afternoon delight- Dana would like everyone to read this.

Sounds like a real snoozer

OK, I caught this show on TLC the other night all about different people with narcolepsy which as you probably know is a sleeping disorder. The producers had the audacity to name the show "Nap Attack" and the program followed around a few different families showing how their loved ones coped with this disease. One segment focused on a young working-class Scottish girl about 14 years old who wanted to be a dancer. It showed her at her dance recital which she could barely make it through because she kept falling asleep and passing out on the floor. While watching this show I felt like I would be going directly to hell because 1. it was fuckin' hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing and 2. because I just couldn't stop watching it. Her family and friends were unbelievably supportive and tried to make her feel better by trying to make her laugh it off like it was no big deal. The only problem with this scenario is that laughing takes a lot of energy which this girl did not have and everytime she laughed she would pass right out again. Anyway, the point of this post is that its playing again on Wednesday night at 7 p.m. on TLC. PLEEEEASE watch it and tell me I am not a bad person for laughing.

Austin is the new L.E.S.

I thought I wanted to head back to NY, but it seems like there are hipsters aplenty right here in Austin, TX. Went to a Madonna-themed birthday party at a new spot (new to me at least) called the Peacock. Some people were dressed up as Madonna through various stages of her career and the birthday girl was dressed up as Jane Fonda in her aerobics phase. Good-looking kids were were groovin' away and a good time was had by all. It was a bit weird seeing Austin as hipster central during a time that wasn't SXSW. I got to see Big Herms which is always a treat. Daylen and I saw 2 movies at the Drafthouse yesterday, "Jesus Is Magic" and "Be Here To Love Me"- the Townes Van Zandt picture. Both are highly recommended. The weather is shit, but its nice seeing some good friends. Ok, here goes I'm gonna try to post an mp3. Its the Stones "She Smiled Sweetly"

Weekend Preview: Please Find Meredith

Big thanks to the MTA for not striking. Thank god I didn't stay out late drinking last night thinking I could sleep in and not go to work today... PHEW. And when I say PHEW, I mean I hate all of you.

Hats off to Big Hassle for throwing another winner of a holiday party. Who can deny 10 kegs and a view of Long Island Bay (wait that might not be right, whatevs)... even if we had to battle freezing rain to fill our cups up with another cold one? James Iha was kicking out the jams hardcore - - did anyone else enjoy those two guys dancing raver style to his beats? Throw those kids a pair of glow sticks and watch them roll...literally. Rachel became tongue-tied (wait did pigs fly?) when she met some stand up comedian I had never heard of. And of course, it's never an actual party until the ladies of TPM lose one of their own. And when we say one of their own we mean Meredith. If you have tips on where she is please call our hotline at 800-lost-shortgirl.

Weekend Preview:
Friday: We have a date with a giant ape. No, it's not me. We're going to see King Kong! No partying, you ask? Nay. We're gearing up for Saturday.

Saturday: Most of the day will be spent with my #1 pet peeve, shopping in Soho. Although things might be shaken up this year with a trip to Williamsburg to find our loved ones gifts... which is also the location of the first phase to operation drunky. I believe it's a karaoke dinner party. Warning: Pina Colada will be sung by a member of TPM (dana) accompanied by kickass backup dancers (rach and mere). After that who knows where the night will take us, but hopefully it will culminate in our searching for Meredith.

Sunday: I'll be at Jamal's watching the first season of Lost. There is no better time to lose yourself (get it?!) in a tv show. Although I probs (totes and maybs) should continue my xmas shopping... but i just can't... i can't ... Mere is having TPM's over for a holiday whiskey party at her place. The B Trifecta: Board Games, Booze, and Babes... HOLLER!

Alarm Cocks

I'd like to send a shoutout to my upstairs neighbors for waking me up this morning by having loud, passionate sex promptly at 8a when my alarm failed to go off. Thank you for the screams and panting, I would never have made my 9:30a meeting without you....

As promised (because we here at TPMs always keep them...cough...Thanksgiving photo contest....cough) here is your moustache of the day:
Eddie Argos, the sexy singer of Art Brut, is awarded this week's Moustache Appreciation Honors for making all the ladies in the audience, myself included, swoon. Here's an example when a 'stache can defs get you some... Eddie, call me!

If you'd like to celebrate your love for all things 'stache- party it up here tonight:

The Glorius Mustache Challenge

What: Handlebar devotional and hysterical documentary on men who dare to grow them. Mustache-soiree to follow (fake ’staches will be provided at the door).

Why: References to Fu Manchu and bravado.

When: Tonight, 8 p.m.Where: Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery, b/t Spring & Rivington Sts.

R.S.V.P. to info@gloriusmustache.com

(courtesy of Dailycandy)

So this is why they call him Sean Bones

Stealing a page from rockers Franz Ferdinand and Led Zeppelin before them, Sam Champion's own Sean Bones likes to wear his pants tight. Apparently the girls in the Blender and Ellegirl offices were studying his package yesterday and wondering if the tightness of his pants was in any way related to the Garth Algar face he was making.

Why You Should Always IM Wasted:

After a night spent eating indian food and watching the WB over at Jamal's apartment, I expected to go home, chill with my roomie sylvia, spritz the house with raid and settle in to bed.
Luckily I turned my computer on....

dana: you better post!
del: hi cutoe
del: so wasted right now
dana: hahahaha
del: hly crap so wasted
del: my new employer judt took me put
del: he frickin LOVES me
del: bouhgt me like 10 drinks
del: i can barely sees straight
del: i neeed watwr so badly
del: when should i comemin
del: i miss nyc so much
del: i miss you dana dynamite
dana: awww i miss you too babes
del i love u al so much its crzy
del: wow so drnkk=eee
del: hahahha
del: wow
del: 10 drinks easy
dana: keep talking this is the best ever
del: hahahahhha
del: stop
del: serius
del: hahahha
del: dane sto-p
dana: how are you even on the computer right now?
del: im wasted
del: hahahhhaha
del: dunno
del: i luvs ya
del: miss ya so much
dana: i know i know get back here
del: seriously
del: im will, soomn
del: when should im cvomr
del: i could come snytime
del: serioyiusly
dana: you should come on the 29th
del: could leave anyn day nnow
dana: did you already start your new job?
del: i wanna come wayb earlier than thsat
del: not really
del: just met with them'just came from drinks with thwenm
del: but my stat date us jan 3
dana: haha are they as drunk as you?
del: did you tel jwff i was drunbk?
dana: nooooo
del: bs
dana: ha
dana: he needed to enjoy this as much as i am
del: i dont believe it for1 second
del: i cant wait to see uy guys
dana: i know! i don't even want to go home, because i'll miss time with you!
del: k m gona watch nip/tuck now
del: dane i miss u so much
del: i have yto get off the comp right now
dana: i miss you too times 10
del: im barelyt conscious
dana: awes
del: no way
del: i luvs you so vewry much
dana: love you too!
del: i really miss you'
del: you are the best
dana: awww get off the comp babe
del: i nknoiwq]
del: look at mny writing
del: hahahahhaha wqstd!!!!!!!
dana: holler!
(*comment- Del seemingly forgets we had been IMing...)
del: my new employer took me out tonite
del: got me so wasted
del: he fricmin loved me
del: bought me a milioj dronks'
dana: i know! amazign!
del: kept cheerinskin me
del: im so cnfused right now
dana: um not sure what that meant, but sounds like a hoot.
del: nooo
del: fuck
del: oh shit som wasted ru=ightnow
del: hahahahha
dana: ok time to get off the comp
del: look at my writing
del: yes
del: dane i love u so much
dana: prepare to have most of this posted on the blog by morning
(Rach signs on... Del goes bye bye)

God I can't wait for that kid to come back for New Years- Can you?!

December to Remember Part Two: Pet Peeves R' Us

While each of us is diligently checking off our December to Remember goals (see past post)...

I've already gone to the gym and dyed my hair darker to correct that pesky root problem - rachel has clearly made out with Del underneath the mistletoe amongst other seedier places - and fortunately mere hasn't pushed me into a pile of garbage yet, but there's still time

...we've also been thinking of our holiday pet peeves that make the month of December a doozie. Yes, it's true, that here at TPMs we aren't haters - but we sure like to bitch a lot. Enjoy!

Holiday Pete Peeves

Mere:
1. sample sale mania - just because that metallic green lauren merkin clutch is 50% off doesn't mean I need it
2. Not knowing what to get for my co-workers
3. Figuring out NYE plans without getting into a fight or having a nervous breakdown
4. People feeling sorry for me because I'm jewish - my people get 8 nights of presents!
5. Tourists taking over the city

Dana:
1. Shopping in Soho for presents on the weekend before I head home. It's the only time of the year I become a bitch (although others may say differently). I swear people, get the fuck out of my way.
2. Watching my thrice-removed cousins open their presents while I no longer get any from that side of the family. FUNNNNNN.
3. Christmas music. Enough said.
4. Work becomes 10x busier right before vacation, for no absolute reason, other than to torture us.
5. Cheesy made for tv movies about finding love during the holidays. When are people going to realize that it only brings people together for a pity screw. Yeah...heard those relationships have lasting power...

Rachel and Del soon to come....

What'syersongoftheday?
Mere - When The Sun Goes Down/ Artic Monkeys
Dane- Me and the Bean/ Spoon

Rachel does Dallas (and Adam)

As many of you loyal TPM readers may know, two of its contributors are in a LDR (long distance relationship), but this weekend Rach & Del were reunited in Dallas for what turned out to be an adventure filled with music, sculptures and egg nog. And now, a little insight into our shenanigans...

Friday night we went to see Mazarin and Rogue Wave, too bad the show was all the way out in Denton. The 40 minute drive was very reminiscent of the scene in Footloose where Ren and Ariel literally had to drive to another town in order to get their dance on. Here's us at Hailey's and here's Rach enjoying a frosty Purple Haze.




Saturday morning we grabbed some breakfast with friends and their adorable little munchkin, Jordyn- as you can see she loves tomatoes.


This is Adam's best friend in Dallas. No, we already know it's his Mom.


You know how we luvs us some culture, so we trekked over to the Nasher Sculpture Gardens and proceeded to act like total idiots.












Saturday night my friend Kevin Diltz had a X-mas themed wedding, but us Jews went anyway. Adam had his first experience sitting on Santa's lap and asked him for a Menorah. Minutes later he had his first egg nog and cried out, "I'm turning into a Christian!!"


His beard is real.


You can't see it, but I'm totally grabbing her boob. Clearly, she loves it.

Weirdest Night Ever, Please Call

This is the s.o.s text message that I sent out at 10:49 on Sunday morning to a handful of friends. I needed to share my stories of the previous night with as many people as possible so they could learn of the bizarre events that took place. One by one everyone called or texted to learn of my misadventures and share stories of their own - one happy party-goer was still out from the night before!




The night started innocently enough at Sarah's lovely holiday soiree, complete with festive drinks and crisp crudite. I only knew a few people at the party so before too long I got the itch to check out what was going on around town. After a few phone calls I was on my way to the apartment of the bassist of a pretty well-known band to meet up with a friend. It is at this point that things start to get weird. We headed out to R&R for a bit but before long said basist informed me that we would be going to meet up with his buddy Chris Kirkpatrick - as in the dude with the whacked out haircut from N'Sync! I can't say I wasn't intrigued but honestly who hangs out with that guy?? When we meet up with Chris he is surrounded by a gaggle or girls and body guards and everything is happening in a haze of hooka smoke. I definitely had a conversation with the man of the hour but I don't think it helped change my opinion of him at all. I think it might actually have made it worse. At this point the bar was emptying out so we headed to the "after-party" at CK's hotel (I am embarrassed just writing that sentence). People came in and out, I had hundreds of pointless convo's about the state of the music industry, told said bassist that I thought his band sucked (he agreed) and was finally driven home by one of CK's security team who told me lots of great Olson twin horror stories.

Was forsaking sleep to hang out with CK and his body gaurds worth it? Ask me when I end up in the liner notes of his next solo album. Holla!

Fashion Victims Who Also Punish Their Eyes.... On The Next TPM

After seeing two guys on the subway last night with them- I just had to express my distaste for colored contacts. I mean, helllllllllo, who doesn't cringe in horror when they are exposed to the snake-like glare of a person attempting to force blue eyes out of their poor brown iris'. People of the world, hear me out, it does not, nor will it ever, look real. Except for Paris Hilton, who knew she was not a natty blue eyer! Here's how TPM would look if we could rock the color of our choice.






In the spirit of TPM's love for truncation, even our family members are hopping on board. My mom included in her IM to me yesterday "QYC". I was stumped. What could this possibly stand for? Turns out- Quit Yer Complaining. Uh, thanks P-Mommy, I get the hint.






what'syersongoftheday:
Rach- Texas Song/ Sam Champion
Dane- Non Photo-Blue/ Pinback
Mere- Bminor Stomp (new)/ Sam Champion
Del- Silent Life/ Fruit Bats

It's My Party and I'll Lose My Purse If I Want to!

This morning I awoke to find my shoes sitting on my dresser, my phone in my hand and a headache that no amount of advil could cure. After a thorough investigation of my apartment for all of my belongings I also found a note written in eyeliner on a paper towel that read:

"Hey Asshole - you're welcome. Nice place!"- Rach

Apparently my evil alter ego was not very nice to Rachel last night but she helped me make it home (with my purse) anyway. I really was only pretending to be wasted so she would finally come over - I've lived there since July and she had yet to come visit!

If Rachel had been able to find a pen this is what she would have written instead:

mere: you are the bestest friend a drunk girl could have
Rach: well you would do the same for me
I was gonna try to be clever if i could have found a pen:
# of bruises you might have tomorrow: 4
# of times you called me an asshole: 16
# of security dudes who were looking for me: 5
# of times you fell up your stairs: 2
# of minutes it took you to face plant into your bed: .50
mere: ha, amazing,i just love you more now!

In a weird case of foresight, Dana predicted how drunk I would get last night months ago at Juanitas. Or was she just comparing her boob size to the margharitas. I'm guessing it is the latter option. Those drinks were tiny!

Enough said!

"What'syersongoftheday":
Mere- Night On Fire/ VHS or Beta
Dane- How Near How Far/ And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
Rach- My Humps/ Black Eyed Peas
Del- Last of the Steam Powered Trains/ The Kinks

Moustache Appreciation, Meet Zack Attack

I didn't think I had it in me to post today. DST is still fucking with me and I've had a long day at work. But for you, the adoring fans of TPM, I can not let you down. Although I just want to reiterate how tired I am. Maybs a few doses of humor will get me pumped for the Ellegirl party at Webster Hall tonight. Since TPM's own Meredith is throwing the party I have to be in full rock-out-with-your-cock-out mode.

So I'd like to introduce a new weekly segment I'd like to call "Moustache Appreciation Day". Each week we'll try to include a photo of our favorite moustache. Although the 'stache is the focal point, we also enjoy chops, flavor savors, and over the top beards. So without further ado....

Does this photo need an explanation? Doubt it! Whoa dude- let's give up the vanity project. Wonder how many ladies this guy scores with that thing. I'm gonna go ahead and say none.

And now on another note. Does anyone remember Zack Attack? The rock band that Zack, Kelly, Lisa, Screech, AC and Jessie created on the best show ever Saved By The Bell. Well needless to say I was a big fan. I sat in front of the tv and taped each song, followed by memorization of the lyrics, followed by a karaoke-down in front of my mirror (it beat those times I locked myself in the basement and sang Whitney Houston's version of "I Will Always Love You"... ever hear a cat die? yeah that was me).

Anywho- the lovely and talented Jaime so nicely forwarded me snippets of the songs for our enjoyment. You can hear it here.

and view the myspace page here.

Zack Attack- I'm patiently waiting for your reunion. And make sure Screech and Mr. Belding are an item by now.

What'syersongoftheday:

Dana- Edit the Sad Parts/ Modest Mouse

Rach- Handshake Drugs/Wilco (from Kicking Television Live in Chicago)

Mere- n/a out of the office

del- mia in dallas. literally. not the artist mia. but that could be his choice.

I Couldn't Resist.

I know this would put us down for three posts tonight, but I couldn't resist... because it all rings true (yeah you over there, you know what I'm talking about...ayyyyyy!)

The Pre-Booty Call Agreement
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2005,by_______________________, between ____________and______________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it inthe morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events ofthe evening
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup, " unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
8. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
9. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
10. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.
11. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
12. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
13. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "Myroommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
14. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
15. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
16. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

Participating PartySignature______________________________________
Date: _______________
Participating PartySignature______________________________________
Date: ________________

Separated at birth?

I saw something on ESPN this weekend that made me do a quick double take and while I couldn't find the perfect picture I think you will get the idea. Basketball coach Phil Jackson and Kazakhstan's very own Borat DO look quite a bit alike, in my opinion. Anyone agree?



Also, I don't know how it escaped me, but I completely blanked on one of my favorite songs this year, Daft Punk's "Robot Rock" a song perfect for rockin' out robot-style which I tend to do sometimes.

HOLIDAY PARTY UPDATE-NEVER PAY FOR DRINKS IN DECEMBER

Only a mere 6 days into another December to Remember and we here at TPM have already been rippin shit up in true yuletide fashion! Heres the count...

# of Holiday Parties Attended: 5
# of Free Drinks: 34
# of Paid For Drinks (Booo!): 6
# of Mini Sloppy Joes Consumed: 7
# of Bruises Received: 3, but it was worth the grand entrance into Fat Baby
# of Napkin Drawings featuring Animal Genitalia: 3

Hours of Molly Ringwald dance moves: 3
Items Lost: 1
Items Found: 1

Hide your good Pinot, the wrecking crew has tons more parties to storm: ELLEgirl Music Issue Celebration, No Data Holiday Party 2.0, Jen Scanlin's Kareoke House Party, Dennis Publishing Company Holiday Bash, Mere's Whiskey Game Night

If you or someone you know are hosting a holiday soiree you'd like us to crash, send us an e-mail - we'll probs bring a fruitcake or a carton of cigarettes to show our gratitude...

"Whatsyersongoftheday?"
Dane - How We Know/ The Thermals
Rach - Cigarette Smoke/Arctic Monkeys
Mere - Over and Over/Hot Chip
Del - Metal Detektor/Spoon

WATCH OUT HE'S LEGAL...to rent a car!

Batten Down Your Hatches and Hide Your Underagers....

Christian - aka "Crashton Kutcher"

aka "Sebastian Getoit" - Stavros

Is Another Year Older on December 5th!!!

As he gets further and further past his prime, TPM's would like to extend it's warmest b-day wishes to our favorite little nugget.

Love you poopbreath!

"what'syersongoftheday":

Del- The Muppets/Happiness Hotel

Rach- Blowing Cave/Death Vessel

Mere- Rich Girl/ Hall and Oates

Dana- Hey Now Now/ The Cloud Room