HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUGGET!

Our lil'est TPM-er is 27 today! You'll always be our lil nugget, Mere!

The celebration actually started Tuesday night when we threw Mega a 7th Grade Style Pizza and Bowling Party, complete with 9 giggly girls and 1 poor dude. Wis-Cod pulled a "I haven't bowled in 8 years" before totes kicking all of our asses. She would have broken 100 if it weren't for a nagging stomach ache. What a jock! Sooo Bea Arthur.

The party continues tomorrow night in the desert, where TPM will be converging for a Coachella to remembah. As a special b-day present, we arranged for Mere's boo, Kanye West, to be added to the line up! Touch the sky, yall!

If you're in the Palm Springs area, please sail on in for a Yacht Rock Birthday Bonanza...



"The only thing that can penetrate our fortress of smoothitude is friendship!"

Yelp Rock, Can't Get Enough

I'm still humming B-Minor Stomp thanks to another jamtastic Sam Champ show last night at Bowery. No Cheadlebug and a lot of new songs that I didnt know the words to (Noah, hook me up with a lyric sheet next time) but regardless, I over-the-head clapped hard core. Not as much as I did on Friday night though, check out this sweaty, gyrating mess.

By the way, I'm super impressed with Sean Bones on keys, harmonica, guitar and bulge (nice Wranglers suckah!) and even more wowed by the really awesome woodwork he did on the SC "info center". Oh, Jack, do I even have to say it? Shave it buddy.
Opening for the Champ was TPM Recommended quartet, Cold War Kids, hailing out of the "new Montreal", Silverlake. At least thats what some stupid music magazine said. The few songs I had heard on myspace had me toe tapping fo' sho but their live show sold me. Apparently Pelligrino bottles are the new cow bell cause the multi-tasking guitarist jammed on one like I've never seen. The turrets-esque bassist made me slightly uneasy, jabbing the lead singer and almost colliding with the guitarist but as Dana explained, they're ability to make you feel nervous is what makes them so good. And here I was thinking it was the free breadsticks. Lookin forward to seeing them again with Tapes 'N Tapes on June 4. 'Cause I heart Yelp Rock. There, I said it. Wanna fight about it?
I know people love Two Gallants (as evidenced by the crowd surfing to what Mere deemed a slow jam) but the general consensus is they're a prepubescent White Stripes. Still, impressive for a duo, just a little bit too much for me on a Monday. Jay and Builder snuck out after song # 2 and Mere and I saw that as a good sign that it was time to fly....

Dudes, 3 days to Coachella and TPM's Yacht Rock Birthday Bonanza in honor of lil Miss Megadeath, invite coming soon for all you Indio-bound brothahs...

18666

You Know What They Say - - If The Hair Flips The Right Way

It's A Party!

Friday night was the doozy of a doozy- so much so that our weekend post will only consist of that evening. The ladies of TPM had so much fun, they were put out of commission for the rest of the weekend. It all began at Fontana's for a night of celebrating the boys of 186's bdays with three bands and DJ Jay Good Times. It ended with me in bed with two guys at 5a. Now that's what I call a good time!!!!!

End of the World impressed me for seeing them the first time, The Big Sleep nearly broke my arm off from the amount of fist pumping I was forced to do by the shear face-melting of their music, and Sam Champion played my fave show of theirs ever. Jay djed a killer set afterward which will now be labeled the Wolfmother listening party. But always thinking of me, he played a sufficient amount of Wolf Parade to satiate my thirst for awkward dance steps.

Below is a cross section of what went down in the sweaty moshpit we created during The Champs set- enjoy!

Bday boy #1, mid head swing, standing next to a gal who needs a bang trim. No idea who dude is in between us, but what's up man- you've been blogged!

Bday boy #2- Builder- mid yell... perhaps he's yelling out for the guys to cover a DOP song? Whoa my hair looks great in that photo. Courtesy of Ultra Hair Salon.

And bday boy #3, Kyle with his lady friend Dee. I'm pretty sure he's yelling out something that's making the band blush. It's his thing.
Noah and Jack of Sam Champion- they pulled out all the hits (Cheadle Bug, B Minor Stomp) and threw in some covers (Bad Moon Rising)
Sean and Ryan banging out the rock. Sean I promised to update earlier in the day for you from now on, but it's really hard to juggle doing that AND watching the Golden Girls.
After the band's set, Mere and Rach took to the stage for a little ass shakin. Hottt. Check out Mere's bra strap... hottter.
And a tiny cross section of the crowd- there's Merida lookin all sheepish- you've been blogged!

Anyways it was nothing but good times. Tonight we are heading over to Bowery Ballroom to check out TPM approved Cold War Kids, Sam Champion, and Two Gallants. Stop being jealous and get yer ass over there!

Which Geezer Are You?

TPM had one of our conference calls today on IM to discuss our impending excursion out to the dry heat and sprawling golf courses of Palm Springs, CA next week. During our heated conversation about whether or not we should combine boat shoes with feathered hair for the Yacht Rock themed party, we got to talking about which Golden Girl we would be. Here's our results:

Mere- she gets to be Sophia (lucky bitch!) based on the merits of her height. And Mere likes the zingers, which we all know that old bag was the queen of them.

Del- Blanche, because he's a slut and likes to wear flowy silk outfits.

Wiscod- Dorothy because i'm a giant with lesbian undertones like Bea Arthur. We can both assure you... we like the schlong. And boy am I good with those zingers. I learned them from my mother- Estelle Getty.

Rach- Rose... by default because she was the last to speak up. Rach is lovable and good hearted like Rose, but she ain't no dumbass.

Which of these fine ladies are you?

Also please check out Blue States Lose on Gawker today. Best line ever:
Do all these hipsters just want to be mimes deep down inside? Here’s Douchey McTwattlefuck doing his classic “On My Cell Phone!” routine.

Lock Yer Doors... there's a new posse in town

Wassss up. Mere and I are the first official members (and founders) of the UHB posse.

What is UHB, you ask?

UNEMPLOYED HOT BITCHES

Holllllllerrrr! If you meet all three qualification- we'll be taking applications tomorrow night at Fontana's - so get there early before our beer goggles take over. Although for some of you, it might be better to get there later for that exact reason.

The UHB posse likes to walk over bridges, go to Grimaldi's and get wasted off of cheap wine in the daytime, and watch the Golden Girls. If you don't like doing any of the three... don't bother.

Logo pending- stay tuned!

Del thought this was funny, so I said I'd post it for him. Please do not let this divert your attention from our need to get him here for Friday's party. Refer to post below.
Does anyone else think he looks like former Phantom Planet member Jacques Brautbar? I do! Reminds me of the time he said to me, and I quote, "Fuck off Dana!"

This'll Be A Doozey

Please help us raise the funds to bring Del from Texas to this party... it's what the boys of 186 would want for their bdays. Any and all donations are welcome, but if you can't, hopefully we'll still see you at this shitshow on Friday regardless.

It's the real thing

Here's Jack White's Coca-Cola ad full of blaring horns and bah-ba-bahs. I just watched it and it looked/sounded pretty cool. Check it out here

R.I.P. June Pointer- we hardly knew ye

I recently realized that I am a Pointer Sisters fan. I will stand up in a crowded room and happily admit this, and I bet a lot of you out there are too but are afraid to come forth. It's ok, it can be our secret. When DJing last night I knew that I should be doing a lil tribute to June who passed away the other day, but what song would I play? The Neutron Dance? Automatic (which sounds a lot like Stevie Wonder)? A fantastic song that most of you know from childhood is "The Pinball Song" aka 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12 made popular on Sesame Street, possibly the funkiest song to ever come from that fantastic program. Anyway, what most people don't know is that it was done by the Pointer Sisters. Couple other points of interest regarding this band is that they were one of the first concerts that I ever attended with my family somewhere in Miami Beach. The year was 1985 and I remember that a comedian opened up for them which was weird. I then saw them AGAIN a few months later as the opening act for WHAM! in Toronto. That's right, bitches, both George Michael AND Andrew Ridgley were in the hizzie. How many of you can say you went to a show like that before? And before you ask, yes they played Wham Rap.
That same year I remember having a housekeeper come over to our house and I distinctly remember her singing Pointer Sister lyrics but effing them up. As she went around the house she sang "I'm so exciting and I just can't hide it!" Of course, I thought this was hilarious and told my Dad about her botched lyrics and he just said: "well, maybe she is."

To be or not to be...

Unemployed.

Top 10 reasons not to work:

1. No longer a slave to an alarm clock.
2. You can beat the crowds at Trader Joes - but apparently you can't beat the obsession.
3. You can finally be one of those people that corporate america doesn't understand.
4. you can pretend to be a writer.
5. people expect you to be drunk every night.
6. you can totes cry in public.
7. you can ask for pity favors.
8. you are allowed to hate the "man".
9. all of the sudden you are the most sought after freelancer.
10. you are allowed to buy yourself expensive shoes.

top 10 reasons to work:

1. you get paid.
2. you have something to do every day.
3. it makes you seem important.
4. you have the ability to change the world - or at least throw good parties.
5. you are always on the list.
6. expense account.
7. it forces you to socialize.
8. swag
9. business trips.
10. you can legitimately say " do you know who i am" without looking like a total douchebag.

Meet Sue

Everyone meet Channel 4's Live at Five anchor, Sue.

She has a hive today. Why do I know this? Because she won't stop talking about it. It's under her eye, and she wants everyone to know that it's not because she was out late drinking.... right Sue, I'm sure you weren't kicking back Irish Car Bombs with your rival station's weatherman Sam Champion in Chelsea late nite...

WOLF PARADE...will you marry me?

Last night - mere, rach and I witnessed the best show of our lives (ok I know Rach loved it, and Mere was into it, but I may just be speaking for myself)

Wolf Parade played Webster Hall and I've never seen them tighter- they killed, absolutely murdered. The sound was amazing, the crowd in the front was energized and the band (spencer!) sounded incredible.

I'm Am My Father's Son/Fancy Claps Medley= FACE MELTING DANCE-ATHON
+
I'll Believe in Anything = FIST PUMPING DREAM
+
Jay getting me a handwritten set list = SWEETEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE FOR ME

I'm still on cloud 9 from the show and the best part is that I get to do it all over tonight!

Sweet, thanks for the false alarm Brett.
Great...I'm still sick AND still anxious.

To Favre or Not To Favre...

It's late on friday night and I'm home with a cold... but it's not the coughing and snot that's keeping me up. No folks, my state's leader, savior and all around god, Brett Favre, is making his decision tomorrow at 8:30a ET on whether or not he will come back to play pro football ever again.

Here's a photo from last season - - I believe Favre had thrown his career high 29th interception. I took a photo of the tv ... we both were crying...:
Just for comparison, here's a photo of my mom (please note her cr8zy holiday nail polish) holding up the newspaper on Christmas Day just a year earlier:
Now, we all know what a terrible year it was last season for us Packer fans. 4-12. 4 & 12!!!!! My whole football loving life has evolved with Brett, and last season was his (and my) first losing season with the team...and it hurt real bad. But I firmly believe the man should come back - - give us one more year - - no holds barred - - no pressure to get back to the Superbowl. Just play like the Favre we all know and love (well sans Vicodin addiction and record breaking interceptions).

So when I wake up tomorrow, perhaps a few hours post announcement... please don't make Wiscod cry. That's all I ask.

How to be Unemployed - Part 2

As many of you know as of Monday I will be joining Dana in the unemployment line as ELLEgirl magazine will shut its doors tomorrow. After my initial wave of sadness and shock subsided (oh wait, Rach just witnessed me have a panic attack in Bryant Park) I started thinking of new career paths for myself and have come up with the following ideas:

1. Drive a SoBe bus around the country for a year
2. Work on the Mud Truck
3. Start a weed delivery service since Cartoon got busted
4. Become a bouncer
5. Operate the carousel in Central Park
6. Break Dance at Grand Central
7. Join an air band
8. Go to Cosmetology school
9. Become a professional drunk
10. Breed show dogs

If you could all vote for your favorite I would really appreciate it.

To add insult to injury I have to go to Daytona Beach tomorrow to work my last ever ELLEgirl event. Here is the email I just got from my client:

I have a pink tank top for you.

Can you wear a flowy skirt that day? We are all wearing flowy skirts.

Kill me now.

How to tell if your date is bored

sent to me by my Dad. Thanks, Dad!

I went to the Rangers babseball game the other day (thanks Garrison) when they whupped up on Boston. It turns out that the Red Sox have a player named Coco Crisp. What the eff? Are his parents just assholes? Up next, pinch hitting for Manny Mota: Boo Berry.

Was just sent this awesome video from youtube. It's Devo live on "Fridays" doing "Girl U Want" and "Gates of Steel". Peep it here

How To Be Unemployed...by WiscoD

Ahhh the life of an unemployed woman. It's good, reallll good.
So as to not make our dear readers too jealous, I'm just going to give you a tiny snippet of my past two days.

Yesterday I woke up at 1030ish, leisurely walked over to kinkos (my new spizzzot), stopped by my fave bar/cafe Lotus Lounge to eat a bagel and listen to the smooth music of Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, and make my way uptown for an interview.

After the interview I made my way even further uptown to get a physical while my ass still has health insurance. You'll be glad to know I'm extremely healthy. But unfortunately my lucky streak ran out when I was mysteriously pulled into Bergdorf Goodman's and accidentally bought a pair of shoes. I had an episode of thinking I still work hard for my money.

Anways- last night I was lucky enough to see the imcomparable Eddie Argos and his band Art Brut at the Bowery Ballroom. My good spirits continued with drinking actual spirits... one too many of them I might add. I think at one point I tried to become friendly with David Cross (he was celebrating his birthday) only to be completely shut down. Oh well. I continued to chew off anyone's ear that seemed remotely interested in my ramblings ('sup Catherine from The Pierces - - we both got the boot from the same company). After shamelessly trying to flirt with the barback, I headed home at 2a. Come to think of it, people tell me my flirting style is more like the cold shoulder, so sorry if that's how I came off.

Moving on to 1130a this morning- yes that's when I woke up- and it was snowing!!!!! WTF!!!! Rachel pointed out that there was a green cloud. One of her coworkers suggested it was a sign that katie holmes was having her spawn of l ron hubbard and nature was rebelling. check it out- freaky deaky!

At 3p, I headed to South Street Seaport to see the Bodies Exhibition. My review is somewhere between meh and wow. I had to keep my stomach from spewing out its contents by trying not to think that the cadavers (that were out in the open) were real people. But they are, or at least were. Anyways, it was fascinating to say the least.

And now I'm home, looking forward to a couple more days of hitting the museums and the bars without a care in the world. Oh shit- I gotta get a job!

And Rach wants everyone to know that the third rule of Gremlins is:
Keep them out of sunlight! (answer courtesy of Wikipedia)

NATIONAL CHOMPS!

For those of you who "don't keep track of sports," last night, my beloved Florida Gators took a bite out of UCLA and won their first-ever basketball national championship! To many, last night's game was a real snoozefest. But me and my Gainesville crew were freakin out, dancing, kicking, peeing a lil and enjoying every single dunk-a-licious second of it! Most Outstanding Player Joakim Noah - pretty much the freakiest looking baller to play the game - is now a hero of the Gator Nation and a potential first round draft pick. He rebounded, blocked shots, hit free throws and blew seductive kisses at the UCLA cheerleaders. Basically, sending the Bruins a message: "Not only are we gonna make you look like jackasses, we're gonna eff your cheerleaders tonight too!"

Thanks to everyone who sent me a congratulatory texts and e-mails, I totes take all the credit for the win! When the hell do I get my ring?

Some More ShapBites
The Gators also broke the team record for blocks in a game, with 10. … Nine of the Gators' 14 second-half baskets were dunks. … The Gators' 15-point margin of victory was the largest ever by a lower-seeded team in a championship game... Seventeen-year-old high school senior Jason McElwain, from Greece, N.Y., was courtside at the game, cheering and chomping for Gators. McElwain, a 5-foot-6 manager with autism, became famous almost instantly when he connected on six 3-pointers in the last four minutes of a February game. Only 5 more months till football kicks off...

Oh What A Night... to pass out at a stranger's apt

Saturday night was one of those nights where you just look back and smile. No harm, no foul, just grand old times.

The evening began late night - - Mere was at the Flaming Lips and Rach was watching her Gators advance to the championship game. So when we all convened at Juanitas (which was celebrating its last night in existence) everyone was in a good mood. Except me... lil miss cranky pants. Luckily two free margaritas later I was having the time of my life. Altho the second 'rita wasn't so much a mixed drink as it was pure tequila. Mere made the smart decision of asking for a tequila floater on top of her already strong drink, because she was convinced by Niki that there was no alcohol in it. Good plan.
Anywho after the crowd got nice and rowdy, we made our way out to Greenpoint for DTL's bday party - - I managed to stuff one more 'rita into my purse for the cab ride over. His party was in full motion when we got there. It was so packed that the apt was a literal steam room which led to a sweaty crockpot of good looking hipsters.
Here's the birthday boy cutting the cake. mmm cake.
Now this is where things get a bit fuzzy- I know we went to the party- I know I talked to a lot of people and I know they had the most delish cake ever. And I know Mere had to be taken home due to her (always fun) drunken antics. Rach reminded me that all night I was calling Mere "little nugget" and she was not taking it to well.

Anyways- Rach and I ended up over at Matt from The Comas apt with Noah. I slept on the bed while a full on jam session went down. Check out Rach on the guitar... and then the trumpet. Weeeeee!

Here's Rach's attempt at being arty. It's my sleeping face as seen through Noah's fro.
And here's a first... apparantly my chatter makes people pass out. Check out Matt's roommate on the left.

Matt played us the new Comas record... and I'm sure it was great, but I can't remember. All in all I learned that: tequila + beer + delish cake + daylight savings time = massive hangover.