Holiday Shenanigans are so Very

December 2005 has officially destroyed me and I've loved every second of it! Well, at least the parts I can remember. This past weekend was epic to say the least. It all started with my disappearance on Thursday night on the way out of the Big Hassle party. When fueled by alcohol I am one sneaky little bugger - take your eyes off me for one second and I will most definitely disappear. I resurfaced early Friday morning and headed over to Hammerstein where I had the pleasure of working the Jingle Ball pre-event with Z100. Nothing cures a hangover better than listening to 6 hours of Z100! In the end it was all worth it though as everyone who worked scored tickets to the big show that night at MSG!

Christian was the obvious choice to bring as my date due to his love for pop culture and all things Mariah. We hung out in the VIP lounge to avoid Frankie J's performance and ran into the extremely sweaty and revolting Don Vito of Viva La Bam fame. After staring at him from a distance and playing would you rather (would you rather take a shot out of his belly button or give him a full-body tongue bath?) it was finally decided that I would take a picture with him. As you can see in the photo he really digs me and showed his appreciation by grabbing my boob - nothing turns me on more than a dirty old man - ew, sick!

The show was an absolute blast and I may or may not have screamed like a 13 year old girl when the Backstreet Boys played "I Want it That Way". Christian and I also acted out a mock music video and accosted drunk people in the hallways of MSG - wait, or were we the drunk people? The highlight of the show was definitely Kanye West who I will only refer to as my boo from now on. My boo was on fire - a true lyrical genius. After the show there was the after party at Quo where I ran into Chris Kirkpatrick's body guard, got my picture taken for the joonbug website, fell asleep on a banquet, lost my ID, left my jacket in the coat check and ultimately got kicked out (twice) and put in a cab by a co-worker. Killer performance.

Saturday started with the requisite phone calls to find out exactly how unruly I had been and culminated with an even more raucous evening than the previous night. The night went a little something like this. Dana, Rachel, Niki, Jiji and myself took off for Brooklyn around 8:30 and showed up at Jen's party armed with 3 bottles of champagne, a bottle of chambord, a flask of Jack Daniels and a bottle of egg nog. If that doesn't scream dangerous levels of intoxication to follow than I don't know what does. Jen and her roomies were fabulous hosts and after hiding in the corner and comsuming our combined weights in spinach dip, the dance party officially began. Jiji drops it hotter than anyone I know and Rachel, Dana and Niki are masters of the hair flip. I was more or less trying to keep up with Jiji and only managed to fall 4-5 times and obtain an equal number of colorful bruises. We made cham-chams (champagne and chambord) for everyone and eventually took to swigging out of any bottle we could find. This resulted in my worst fall of the night - head-first into the stove - and my eventually swearing off my friends to continue my brooklyn adventure solo which is never a good idea.




The other TPM girls ended up sneaking a bottle of egg nog into No Malice Palace and taking pulls in the bathroom while making fun of upper east siders. I ended up sleeping on a sofa bed on the upper east side. Let me explain. I made the unfortunate mistake of only grabbing my camera and jacket from Jen's house and only realized this when we pulled up to my apartment. I had the cab driver and Jen's brother searching the entire van with a flashlight before deciding that we should just go and try to get into my apartment some other way. The plan I came up with in my drunken stupor was to see if my "roommate" was home - I actually live alone and apparently forgot this tiny detail. Now here comes the best part - wait for it, wait for it - I went with Jen's brother on his booty call. Luckily I know the girl and she couldn't have been nicer about letting me sleep on her sofa bed, but talk about an awkward situation! The next morning (after thinking I was in my apt for a good 10 minutes) we all had a nice laugh about it, met Jen for lunch and laughed at me some more. Good times!

Sunday I had a whiskey game night dinner party for TPM minus the whiskey or the games. We were way better off with just food and Family Guy. I can safely say that this weekend will go down as one of my drunkest in 2005 and that I still don't feel quite right. Doesn't mean I won't be ready to do it all again on Thursday - TPM's got a little something in the works. Stay tuned!

And for your afternoon delight- Dana would like everyone to read this.