At age 8, I vividly remember a trip to Gainesville, Fla's Oaks Mall with my mom. Me thinkin, alright, we're hittin up Brody's Frozen Yogurt, my mom with something ELSE in mind: Hair Plus (also forever on my shit list). As I sat down and got pumped up to mirror level, some red neck woman with acrylic nails, probably named Desiree, is stroking my shoulder length hair and chatting with my mom about some bitch named Dorothy Hamill. They decide, without taking my vote, that I will look totes adorable with the "Dorothy Do", apparently hugely popular at the time. (According to my boss, the Dorothy Do was the Rachel Green/Friends Cut of the 1970s.)
Desiree went to town on my tresses and there was nothing I could do about it - I was helpless! I was a mere third grader! I wanted a chocolate/vanilla mix with rainbow sprinkles! The next 25 minutes were the most traumatic 25 minutes of my childhood. I mean, I got my shoulder dislocated at age 4, almost drowned at age 10, fell off the beam in front of 200 parents at a gymnastics meet at age 12 and none of that can compare to the scarring this lil mushroom cut caused (whoa, maybe THATS where my hatred for fungi came from!) I mean, how could my own lovely mother do this to me?
And if you think this look was terrifying, wait till you see the pics of it growing out. Ratty Mullet McGee + huge crooked teeth=the most awkward like, 7 years of my life. Dane, I see your hipster do and I raise you a Dorothy Do....Hair cuts!
2 comments:
sweet jesus I thought i was looking at that guy richard's childhood photo- you know the dude we met at fontana's http://totesprobsmaybs.blogspot.com/2006/02/totes-met-some-hot-dudes-at-fontanas.html
I can't believe your mom did that to you. Shame!
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