TPB Goes to the Movies

It kind of shocks me how many movies I've hit up this summer. I mean, I've probably consumed 4 gallons of Cherry Coke (my exclusive movie theater beverage!), I have the entire Tropic Thunder trailer memorized and I've become very VERY good at sneaking outside food into the theater. What can I say? The AC is my amigo.
I'm no Neil Rosen, but I've decided its time for a mid-summer movie report card with Billiam, my movie theater etiquette-challenged bud, as my Ebert. Of course I'm Roeper.

Assuming the "blockbuster summer movie" season started in May and based on a scale of Totes to Maybs, here...we...go (grab popcorn now!)



Ironman: TOTES+
Holy shit, talk about a come back - I heart Rob Downey Jr in a major way now. More than I liked him in Chances Are and Less Than Zero. I laughed, I cried, I oohed and aahed. I even was a fan of Gwenyth P! Bravo John Favreau, you've completely redeemed Made. GO SEE THIS MOVIE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! You won't regret it.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? Hells no, he high fived me like, 3 times and more than once said in his regular speaking voice (not a whisper), "this is awesome!" and that was only like, 13 minutes into the film.

Indiana Jones: MAYBS-
I LOVE the franchise but I simply could not get behind this wackadoodle plot line. Come ON! I mean, the CGI was like, Shark Attack 3-esque. Loved that hot little Shia LaBoeuf as the rebellious greaser kid though, yum.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? Maybe twice, also complained a lot and ate 3 Taco Bell burritos loudly


Sex and the City: PROBS+
Sometimes I found myself laughing with the girls, a LOT of times I was laughing at them. Particularly at any outfit of Miranda's (as evidenced by this brown on brown on brown on brown number at right). Oh and the bridge scene, Steve's face was priceless. I know I was supposed to be crying, but my whole row of bushy beaver brigade bitches was rollin in the aisles.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? This was an all girls night, but I bet you money he would be snoozing before they got to Mexico.


Wall-E: PROBS+
So sweet. Loved the message, loved the animation and scenery. Didn't love the use of Fred Willard but forgivable. Not my fave Pixar flick but definitely memorable.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? For at least 15 minutes, then proceeded to complain about how there was no dialogue and hated how all the robots could say was each other's names...IN the movie, in his regular speaking voice. I think he also checked email and texted. That jerk almost ruined this one for me.


The Wackness: TOTES-
Anyone who went to school in the mid 90s will love this, espesh if you were into hip hop. Or weed. Or losing your virginity. Had some slow moments but overall, loved the whole cast and that adorable Josh Peck (who used to be not so adorable) AND the Fire Island shout out. It makes you want to go make a mix tape.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? He faked falling asleep a few times, just to grind my gears but ultimately liked it, especially when things got sexy. Perv!



The Dark Knight: TOTES+
I'd been looking forward to this one for a long time and not even a raging headache or Dana's panicked deep breathing was going to thwart my enjoyment. Heath's performance was completely hype-worthy. He successfully freaked Dana out, as evidenced by the scratches on Kyle's arms. With the exception of being a little overly gravel-y, C. Bale was SO hot! I even thought Aaron Eckhardt killed it (although, was that face necessary?!) The audience, including us, clapped and cheered and kinda gagged a little multiple times throughout this movie.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? I've heard he was awake, but barely. He said "meh" and pointed out a few plot holes but hes going to see it again on IMAX, so he couldn't have hated it.

Other upcoming summer movies with potensh:

Pineapple Express (duh!)
Hamlet 2
Tropic Thunder (RDJ, you rule!)