Saved by Zero Kills

I found this on my new fave Facebook group, Saved by Zero: Who the hell asked "Zero" to save me?. I think we can all agree that this commercial is the worst thing to happen to the football season, ever.



It's a good thing I'm not the administrator for a Toyota focus group web site anymore, huh?

Inspired x 64, 521,172

The victory is still sinking in. It took me a day to compose my thoughts (and get over my hangover) and I'm still not sure I can articulate how inspired and overcome with emotion I am by Barack Obama making history.

So I will just say this. I'm trying to think of a time in my life when I was more proud to be an American. I cannot. Its just so exhilarating, such an amazing time to be alive in this country. And I hope that all the people who didn't vote for OB recognize this sooner than later.

Borrowing from my latest Huff Post guest blogger John Cusack:

The world looked to America... we showed our best.
For one night at least, the world was sane.
The planet sighs in relief and deserves a righteous party.

Yes We Did! Now who wants to go to the inauguration with me? :)

Fall 08 Highlights and Lowlights

Considering my joblessness, I should really be posting more. There’s no excuse and there is def a ton going on. I knew it was time to log on when my sis started to nag me. So now I gottta cram it all in. Are you ready? I'm going to make like a sitcom "Last Season on the Shaps Show" montage and catch you up:

GOT LAID OFF
If you haven't heard or deducted from the first sentence of this post, Drillteam ain't my homeboy. I'm cool with it tho, frees me up for more pilates, MSNBC and fiiiiinnnnally eBaying all that shit thats been piling up in a corner of my bedroom since 2005. But seriously, if you know of a job, don’t hold back – send me deets!

ACL
The trip to Austin went a lil something like this: Hangin with Delaney, Migas, Tubing, Salt Lick, Migas, Cool Kids, 90s Dance Party, Migas, Chicken Cone, Spiritualized, MGMT, Allison Krause, Beck, Nicole Atkins, Mega Concussion, Chillin on our very own plantation. More Migas.


THE ELECTION
Obama inspires me to tears. I've become a crazy Huffington Post junkie. I think I have a lot of OB’s stump speeches memorized. I wake up in the morning (at 10, its fine) and race to the brontosaurus laptop to check out the latest Obama slideshows. “Another B and Michelle Greatest PDA moment?” “What ARE the candidates eating on the campaign trail?” “I wonder what Sasha and Malia were for Halloween.” I’m shamelessly obsessed. Like Dana and Pearl Jam or Dana and Wolf Parade or Dana and Sharks.
Here's me nerding out on some Barack show tunes:

RIP Toot, it makes me so, so sad she didn’t get to see her grandson win the presidency. Don't worry Madelyn, I'm votin for your boy tomorrow. EVERYONE VOTE!!!!!

FALL ADVENTURES
Dane’s adorable VW Golf, Scoots, goes back home to Wisco at the end of the month so to get our inflated gas-money’s worth, we’ve been cruisin’ upstate on all kinds of awesome autumnal adventures. New Paltz was bountiful with fall color, apples, cider, pumpkins, goats and chili. Mountainville offered us acres upon acres of majestic sculptures at Storm King. Sleepy Hollow spooked us out with a special “Legend Weekend” where Dana found romance with the Headless Horseman. And last but not least, Hackensack, NJ provided us with Cheesecake Factory indigestion. Mmmm, pumpkin cheesecake.





MSG SCREAMFEST
Not in a frightened way, in an excited teenage girl way. As promised, we rocked American’s Best Dance Crew Live (thanks Kell Perk) which featured the ridiculously badass Jabawockeez (Dane’s mind was blown) and my faves, Supa Cr3w.

Check out em battling each other in Boston, is this shit right out of Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo or what?

Also popular: Joey, the deaf Asian dancer from ASIID. The uber-hyper high school chicks behind us screamed in vain “I love you Joey, I want to be your girlfriend!”
Not but a month later, I found myself screaming the EXACT same thing, but to Joey MacIntyre at the oh-so amazing NKOTB show. Imagine if you will, being surrounded by thousands of screaming women (not 12 yr olds) in side pony tails and vintage neon t-shirts, waving their hands in the air to “Hangin Tough” like it was their job. I reverted to my middle school self and did whatever the boys told me to. I had no say, I was under their spell. They're all still playing their 1991 roles: Donnie is still thuggish, Joey is still boyishly adorable, Jordan is still the sexy lead man with a falsetto that could crack glass, Jonathan is still shy and awkward (and apparently gay! I had no idea!) and Danny is still the one no girl fantasizes about. Although he did do some sweet breakdancing. (Huh??) For Dana’s take, read here.

UNFORTUNATE COCKTAILS
Ice luge-chilled Espresso vodka, Halloween's "Witch's Brew" (it involved Midori, pineapple juice and gummy body parts) and that weird strawberry-basil beverage Sarah made me over the big b-day extravaganza in the Hamptons = Hangover Hell.


FLORIDA FOOTBALL
We're #4 in the AP and we’re crushin the SEC right now. Tebow broke Emmit Smith’s career RUSHING touchdown record on Saturday. And he’s the quarterback!!! If we can keep up the momentum, I predict an SEC Championship berth and possibly an Alabama upset. In Tebow I Trust.

SLUT-O-WEEN
We’re so clever. TPB represented on Halloween as slutty ex-presidents aka “Mount UsMore”: Boobraham Lincoln, Whorge Washington, Teddy Ho-sevelt. We’ll probably never get pics back of this eve (Jack?), but this clip pretty much describes our costume concept to a tee:



HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY OLD BUDDIES
All my best G'ville pals aged and because I couldn’t afford gifts (remember bullet #1? I don’t have a job! Get me one!), I figured they at least deserved a special blog shout out: Happy, happy b-day to Sarah B-D, Bri, Mere Phipps, Ilanis, Steph and tomorrow, Noah P!

How I Feel Today

SeeqPod - Playable Search

Free Falling

I have a love/hate relationship with Labor Day.

On the one hand it means, summer is ending - BBQs, outdoor shows and beach weekends will soon start dwindling and before we know it, Dana will be taking out her winter cardigans. On the other hand, fall is a lovely time for apple picking and pumpkin flavored lattes and oh yeah, FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!

Not sure how it snuck up on me, but holy shit, college football season is HERE! And to help kick things off right, Tim Tebow went and got his Men's Fitness on:

HELLO! That ain't photoshop people, this dude means biz. Heisman Repeat! Woot!

So if you need me for the next 12 Saturdays, just follow the cheering and Jaws theme to a great lil, semi-fratty Gator-fied bar with the most unfortunate name: Bounce Deuce. They make a mean omelette and have these obnoxiously gigantic beer "table tappers" that just scream date rape. One time, Sarah tapped it too hard, had a dance off with a USC fan and then vom'ed on the street. Go Gators!

In other Labor Day news, the Champers are getting ready for their Sept 2 Heavenly Bender debut with clever lil teaser clips on YouTube like this:

And this:


They can play instruments ANNNNND act? YES! And don't even get me started on their baseball skills.

Another reason to be pumped its almost September: the new season of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia will be droppin' on September 18. I have a shameless crush on this show and I'm not afraid to say, I am counting down the days for Season 4. Here's a taste of its tastelessness:


And lastly, speaking of Fall, look at this lil prank Billy fell for the other day:

I don't really get it either but this dude really committed to the serenade. Props Fake Prince, you got em good!

Sooo anyway, whats everybody doin for Labor Day? :)

Trapped on the Left Coast

Do you miss me?

Its day 7 of 9 in Los Angeles for work, it feels like its been months. I'm like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, 'cept with access to overpriced room service ($20 omelette, wha??) and Wilson is this fine dude named Abram at the valet. Hahhht.

Muchas gracias to all my west coast buddies (Norm, this is what the kids call a "shout out") for making it out to my little gallery opening soiree in Silverlake on Friday. I hope you all got your fill of acai berry vodka cocktails and warm beer. Totes success.

A trip down perm lane

I was just greeted by the exciting news that I will be attending the NKOTB show at MSG this fall...and to celebrate, I thought I'd show you some old photos of how my love for them used to look like...notice how hip our matching Keds are.


The last photo is from their Alpine Valley show in 1990 I believe. If that is indeed true, then just to the right of us was the pre-pubescent squealing of one Chrashton Stavros. Our friendship was nothing short of destiny.

The Medal Count from Fire Island

To celebrate the true spirit of the Olympic Games, 12 Seneca hosted its second annual Fire Island Field Day competition on Aug 9. Here are some highlights from our little Birds's Nest...

Opening ceremonies, the lighting of the torch...


Every good competish starts with a team huddle (read: everyone gathering to complain about when we'd start dinner)


Team "CapTan Dan's Short and Curlies, Bitches!" vs Team "We'll Eff You Up Seneca Style" in the dizzy bat finals...


Talking egg spoon strategy, hoping we don't get snubbed by the Australian judge.


Foul play afoot, Mere just can't stick her landing after getting attacked by a water balloon...


There are no winners or losers, we stand together as one...


Just kiddin, scoreboard bitches!!!!!!!


Later that night, the Olympic village was a-rockin. We kicked things off with celebratory feast where Hungarians, Robots, Cherokees, Deer, WASPs and chic people came together to eat, drink and be merry (and sing "Trippin Billies"...)


Euros are so weird (and its true what they say about their bad teeth)


Mere takes the gold for individual table dancing!


Then, with only 20 minutes between competitions, without a warm down, she takes gold again for her 50m piggybacking...(eat that, Phelps!)


See ya in Sept homies, USA!

Dane Cook is Finally Funny

With his critiquing of the poster for his new movie...I finally find Dane Cook remotely funny.

Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, "My Best Friends Girl," is the best / funniest film I've done yet. It's got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It's a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I'm not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I'd like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.

Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:

1. Graphics:
Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with
3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using "You Suck at Photoshop" templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

2. My head:
The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina.

3. The Stare.
My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate's mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.

4. Lips:
It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I'm a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!

5. Fashion:
My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It's going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I'm also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.

6. Flesh:
It's no secret that I'm more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I've got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the fuckin' bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond's dolls would look at me and say "shit ... that guys got flawless skin!"

7. Hair:
It's actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin'.

8. The set:
Pick one. This entire film takes place:

A. on Gattaca
B. at the Fortress of Solitude
C. inside a crystal wind chime

9. The cast:
Alec Baldwin is so fucking funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.

10. Final thoughts:
I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.

Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn't the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.

Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) click on the link at the top of this page.

PS - "Its funny what love can make you do." I just threw up all over this awful poster.
Wow, wait ... it looks better.

Hey ... I love my new movie. Jeez ... it IS funny what love can make you do.

Lollapalooza 2008

Hi everyone! First off let me apologize for being MIA for the past few weeks - I've had a lot going on! My dreams of moving back to LA were dashed when I got an awesome new job and I've been assimilating back to life in an office. While I miss the days of working from my couch in my pjs I enjoy the direct deposit, human interaction and Carroll Garden digs of the new office. But there was no way I was going to give up the freelance life just like that. Therefore I overbooked myself and decided to work on last music lounge @ Lollapalooza. Am I happy about my decision? I'm still not sure but at least I was entertained and have some pretty sweet stories. Here are some highlights:

1. Watching as Lindsay Lohan ran away from my friend Chip with fear in her eyes because she mistook him for Perez Hilton. Absolutely amazing!

2. I scored pot for Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. I was then presummed to be the resident drug dealer of the Hard Rock Hotel and had to fend off other requests.

3.Danny Masterson invited me to go to All Points West with him and kissed me on the cheek 20 times - perhaps he thinks we are old friends? All I did was make sure he had a Serato box and that his publicist had pizza.

4. Cinnamon Bobcat swept through the Hard Rock Hotel like a phenomenon with the help of Jory, our photographer and Twinkler. For those of you who don't know Cinnamon Bobcat is a karate move where the attacker blinds his/her opponent by blowing cinnamon in their face and then scratching at their eyes like a bobcat.

5. Christian got wasted and was yelling out the window of our cab to a crowd of 20 people about going to Angels and Butt Pirates (actually Angels and Kings) and then proceeded to get into a fight with the singer from Yeasayer that involved sticking their tongues out at each other.

6.Taking shots of tequila with the entire caterting staff in the kitchen of the Hard Rock.

7. Being told by Chromeo that I sounded like Linda Richman from Coffee Talk on SNL.

8. Becoming Girl Talk road kill. People at Lollapalooza are insane. I got pinned against a fence and sorta felt like crying. Then I broke free and danced my face off.

9. Having an ice cream social on the floor of a hotel room with Molly and Christian while Butch Walker played us tunes on his guitar.

10. Losing my voice to the point that not one person could understand me. Not the cab driver from the airport, not my co-workers, not anyone. Now I really wish I had decided to get those yes/no tattoos I talked so much about.

Good times USA. New incarnation of the blog, same desire to make lists of things I enjoy.

Heyo!

South Park Favorites- Week 2

I remember watching this episode with Jamal Tang where Stan's dad vies for the world record of biggest crap, only to find out that the world record holder is Bono. All is revealed when we find out that Bono is actually a piece of crap himself. Classic South Park.

I think the kicker is the scene where Bono just runs off the shouting "Yeah Yeah Yeah". Jamal and I were speechless.

You Can't Win 'Em All But...

Bummed to report that neither the Gators nor the Packers took the ESPN "Titletown USA" crown this week BUT for the first time ever, my alma mater was declared "#1 party school in the nation." UF has made the list for the last 15 years but apparently it took back-to-back national championships, Emmitt winning Dancing with the Stars (who wouldn't drink to that?), a Heisman and some alcohol related deaths for us to finally get our propers. Thanks Princeton Review!

My fave student quote in the announcement about the prestigious honor:
"We don't even need to study that much," says one junior. "We know that we'll still get the grade, even with a hangover." Orrrrrr maybs its cause Fla offers badass classes like Growing Fruit for Fun and Profit or The Meat we Eat. (I aced both...with a hangover natch!)

Find out if your college made the cut here.

Wherefore Art Thou Trent?

Sandwiched in between my tween adoration of NKOTB and Eddie Vedder, and right after I fell for the guy who played Pony Boy in the Milwaukee Repertory Theater's version of The Outsiders (somewhere, there's a notebook where I wrote "I love Pony Boy" repeatedly in Mr. Butt's class).... there was the gymnast named Trent Dimas.

You may remember him from his near perfect high-bar performance at the 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona. I remember him as the short gymnast who stole my heart. Watch and enjoy how he nails this routine right down to the triple tuck dismount. Swoon. My love for him even went so far as to drive me to chase his tour bus with Jamal Tang after local exhibition show. Sigh. His story is one for the legends...barely making it to the games, not even a contender, showing up and nailing the routine of his life. Thump thump!



Turns out Trent is more than just my heartthrob. After winning the gold medal, he went back to school, became a lawyer, moved home to New Mexico and now works at a bank. Brains? check plus! Heart of gold? you bet. He's currently sponsoring one of the US male gmnasts, Joey Hagerty, in this year's olympics. Long live Trent!

Current Obsession: Poppin 'n Lockin

My latest guilty pleasure: Randy Jackson's America's Best Dance Crew on MTV.

For those who haven't discovered how brilliant this show is, let me break it down for you (see what I did there?)
Each week, ya got dance crews from all over the US getting challenged with some kind of themed choreography - one week there was a Janet Jackson challenge, one week there was a music video challenge. Last night they had to create beats out of high school gym equipment. Which may sound random but they totes all brought it. These b-boy dudes (and some chicks) can not only dance, they also have awesome comedy skills and are incredibly creative.
My fave crew is called "SuperCr3w". Here's a taste em:



Did I mention Lil Mama and JC Chasez are judges? Genius! Hands down, its the best thing on MTV since the first Real World. Ok, fine, since The Hills.

SAVE THE DATE:
America's Best Dance Crew LIVE
Sep 23- WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden

TPB Goes to the Movies

It kind of shocks me how many movies I've hit up this summer. I mean, I've probably consumed 4 gallons of Cherry Coke (my exclusive movie theater beverage!), I have the entire Tropic Thunder trailer memorized and I've become very VERY good at sneaking outside food into the theater. What can I say? The AC is my amigo.
I'm no Neil Rosen, but I've decided its time for a mid-summer movie report card with Billiam, my movie theater etiquette-challenged bud, as my Ebert. Of course I'm Roeper.

Assuming the "blockbuster summer movie" season started in May and based on a scale of Totes to Maybs, here...we...go (grab popcorn now!)



Ironman: TOTES+
Holy shit, talk about a come back - I heart Rob Downey Jr in a major way now. More than I liked him in Chances Are and Less Than Zero. I laughed, I cried, I oohed and aahed. I even was a fan of Gwenyth P! Bravo John Favreau, you've completely redeemed Made. GO SEE THIS MOVIE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! You won't regret it.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? Hells no, he high fived me like, 3 times and more than once said in his regular speaking voice (not a whisper), "this is awesome!" and that was only like, 13 minutes into the film.

Indiana Jones: MAYBS-
I LOVE the franchise but I simply could not get behind this wackadoodle plot line. Come ON! I mean, the CGI was like, Shark Attack 3-esque. Loved that hot little Shia LaBoeuf as the rebellious greaser kid though, yum.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? Maybe twice, also complained a lot and ate 3 Taco Bell burritos loudly


Sex and the City: PROBS+
Sometimes I found myself laughing with the girls, a LOT of times I was laughing at them. Particularly at any outfit of Miranda's (as evidenced by this brown on brown on brown on brown number at right). Oh and the bridge scene, Steve's face was priceless. I know I was supposed to be crying, but my whole row of bushy beaver brigade bitches was rollin in the aisles.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? This was an all girls night, but I bet you money he would be snoozing before they got to Mexico.


Wall-E: PROBS+
So sweet. Loved the message, loved the animation and scenery. Didn't love the use of Fred Willard but forgivable. Not my fave Pixar flick but definitely memorable.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? For at least 15 minutes, then proceeded to complain about how there was no dialogue and hated how all the robots could say was each other's names...IN the movie, in his regular speaking voice. I think he also checked email and texted. That jerk almost ruined this one for me.


The Wackness: TOTES-
Anyone who went to school in the mid 90s will love this, espesh if you were into hip hop. Or weed. Or losing your virginity. Had some slow moments but overall, loved the whole cast and that adorable Josh Peck (who used to be not so adorable) AND the Fire Island shout out. It makes you want to go make a mix tape.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? He faked falling asleep a few times, just to grind my gears but ultimately liked it, especially when things got sexy. Perv!



The Dark Knight: TOTES+
I'd been looking forward to this one for a long time and not even a raging headache or Dana's panicked deep breathing was going to thwart my enjoyment. Heath's performance was completely hype-worthy. He successfully freaked Dana out, as evidenced by the scratches on Kyle's arms. With the exception of being a little overly gravel-y, C. Bale was SO hot! I even thought Aaron Eckhardt killed it (although, was that face necessary?!) The audience, including us, clapped and cheered and kinda gagged a little multiple times throughout this movie.
The true test, did Bilf fall asleep? I've heard he was awake, but barely. He said "meh" and pointed out a few plot holes but hes going to see it again on IMAX, so he couldn't have hated it.

Other upcoming summer movies with potensh:

Pineapple Express (duh!)
Hamlet 2
Tropic Thunder (RDJ, you rule!)

America's Next Top Model

Looks like our pal Dave B took a break from his day job as a Fader edit staffer to be Joey McIntyre's stand-in for this photo shoot in last week's Time Out NY!

This dude's got legs and he knows how to use em....aaaaaooooow!!

So Long Estelle... a tribute by Holmes

RIP Estelle Getty

I was 8 or 9 when "The Golden Girls" first arrived on the airwaves. I've always said that I may have been an old black woman in another life, and something about this show just hit a nerve with me in a way that it probably did very, very few other kids my age. I watched it a lot with my elderly great-aunts, who would babysit my brother and I on Saturday nights. Even if I didn't get a lot of the humor, it still made me laugh. Much to the chagrin of my friends, I kept watching "GG" re-runs through college and into adulthood, and I even managed to rope in a few people to slowly come to appreciate the show like I did (one of my buddies created a mock tribute to Bea Arthur on the late Web site PublicNigmity.com which outraged actual Bea Arthur fans online). As Sophia, Getty created one of the most memorable characters in recent TV history: a cantankerous 80-something Italian immigrant who raised so much hell at the nursing home (Shady Pines) that her daughter was forced to bring her back to Miami to live with her and her two roommates. Sophia cooked spaghetti sauce in the middle of the night. She always wore her purse, even when in her nightgown. She prowled for men while the other Girls were away on a Caribbean vacation. She stole daughter Dorothy's credit card and went on a Christmas shopping spree. And she made us laugh, a lot. We'll miss ya, ma! We're also renting "Mannequin" in your honor.

and now an episode of Sophia renting porn:

I Dare You Not To Cry

Go out and buy Michael Lewis's The Blind Side immediately!

How I Could Just Killa Man!

And that man might just be Packers GM Ted Thompson.
I am not thinking rationally right now- stay tuned for when I have a clearer picture of what is actually going on. Also, a blow by blow of my Miami antics to come.

Things that make you go Mmmmm...

There's really nothing more American than gluttony and over the July 4th holiday weekend, the TPB crew got really effing patriotic. I don't know about the other babes but I'm still full from our good ol fashioned Brooklyn food marathon. Here’s a run down of the damage and some recos for our (5) loyal readers:

All-You-Can-Eat Blue Crabs at Clemente’s (Sheepshead Bay)
Thanks to Famous Fat Dave for tippin' us off to this authentic crab shack on the water. Even bigger props to El and Dave Dolgen for treating us to the Old Bay smothered crustaceans with all the fixins. John is probs still eating his leftovers at this very moment. Seriously, Jack please tell your ma and pa that they are the real deal!


Banana Splits and Shakes at Hinsch’s (Bay Ridge)
We were the only people in this old timey soda shop under the age of 80. (I overheard one grandma ordering shrimp salad and a coffee, she may have been on oxygen. But don't get me wrong, I love old people.) As we all sidled up to the counter, we knew it was a “go big or go home” sitch. Dane and I took down an ice cream explosion called the Banana Deluxe or something awesome like that - picture a dessert that Jughead of Archie comic book fame would order at Pop Tate’s.

Enchiladas and Margs at Alma (Red Hook)
Why is this the 1st time I’ve been to this spot? The margs were delish, the view of the city at sunset was even better. You can even spy the back of the Governor’s Island! I was so inspired by the vistas that I almost proposed to WiscoD.

Corn, Cuban Sandwiches and Frojitos at Habana Outpost (Ft Greene)
This place is a no brainer, especially after a fun little trip to the Brooklyn Flea (where we had an appetizer of zucchini papusas, woot!) I've yet to ride the smoothie blending stationary bike but after hearing that it's reserved only for non-alcoholic drinks, I'm kinda over it. One thing I'm not over: the amazing summertime social calendar which included a screening of Scarface and a party called "Jheri Curl Jams," no lie. I might need to go back for that one.


Believe it or not, we consumed all of these meals within one 24 hour period with little to no heartburn or pants splitting reported. And you can too! Now get out there and eat your face off!!
Burrrp!

New weekly segment

I'm implementing a new weekly segment for the enjoyment of our readers titled "Favorite South Park Moments"

It's pretty self-explanatory what it will be about, so hopefully you, our faithful reader, enjoy the show as much as I do. So in the immortal words of Towlie, "wanna get high?"



This episode may rank up next to "Stan's Mutant Twin" as my all time favorite episode.
You can watch the full one here- www.allsp.com season 5 "Towlie"

Party Wrecker 911

I've just learned via MSN that there are 5 types of guests who can potentially ruin you summer soirees. Bottom line - avoid inviting me to parties whenever possible. They do provide helpful tips on how to deal with your not so perfect friends so perhaps there is hope afterall...

The Spiller
He's animated, gregarious, and larger than life -- and it's one of the reasons you love him so much.

The MO: Put a drink in his hands and he wreaks mass destruction on the walls, window treatments, and upholstery. It's hilarious when he spills beer on the barstool at your favorite watering hole; it isn't so funny when he's sloshed red wine all over your brand-new sofa.

The Fix: It's summer, so keep the drinks, food, and entertainment al fresco. That way, when The Spiller gears up to tell that story about his drunken fishing trip with the guys, cleanup is just a hose away.

The Clinger
She's your best friend and needs to know she's your #1, but having her taped to your side as you're prepping the eats and trying to greet all your guests is exhausting (not to mention downright annoying).

The MO: No matter how long she's known your friends, she just can't resist being at your side all night long.

The Fix: You indulge her 364 days a year, but the day of your party isn't the time for extreme one-on-one bonding. Take her aside before the party; explain that you've got a lot of guests coming and that you need to be a gracious hostess and spend time with everyone. Ask her to invite another friend she can cling to while you're busy socializing.

The Fish
As in drinks like one. She blended into the scenery during your college days, but she's becoming an endangered species now that most of you are older and a little wiser.

The MO: She doesn't show up at the party ready to get completely hammered -- it just happens. The same way it's been happening for the past eight years.

The Fix: Let's face it: You're hosting a party, not an intervention. As Dr. Phil says, "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."So cut down on the late-night drama and ask her to spend the night beforehand. When you see that glazed look come over her, guide her straight into the bedroom to sleep it off.

The Fun Sucker
Otherwise known as "Debbie Downer."After a few minutes of her doomsday stories, your guests will be running to refill their drinks or -- even worse -- for the door.

The MO: Incapable of reading signs of distress and discomfort in others, The Fun Sucker's cloud can darken any room as she extols upon everything from the failing economy to her dysfunctional bowels.

The Fix: Stop her from cornering your guests by keeping the party circulating and the conversation flowing. Make food an event by setting up stations (think pizza or burgers with all the fixings or Southern barbecue with lots of sides). Games of all sorts -- not just athletic ones -- help keep the company and conversation light. If that doesn't work, take your friend aside and ask her to help you prepare dessert or man the grill. Distract her from depressing your guests!

The Vince Chase
You know, the guy with the entourage. He might not be as good-looking as Adrian Grenier, but he's got his very own Turtle, Drama, and E -- and not one of them is a friend of yours.

The MO: He RSVPs for one but always shows up with four or five other dudes. Your bash is just one of the stops on his all-night party circuit.

The Fix: If you want your summer party to be an intimate gathering of very close friends, you might want to think twice about inviting your own Vince Chase. If this is a summer blowout of massive proportions, invite him with the knowledge that he'll have his posse in tow. The more the merrier, right?

When you plan ahead, any party can be a success, no matter who's on the guest list. The most important thing is to allow for your friends' unique personalities and work around them. After all, the point of hosting a summer soiree is to enjoy the company of your nearest and dearest -- with warts and all.

"Live every week like it's Shark Week"

If you haven't seen any of the new billboards around New York City for this year's upcoming Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, here's one for the scariest show of them all:

MEG: Sunset Shadow Showdown
"Once you see her MAC Sunset Shadow glow...it's too late."

Tune in July 27-Aug.2 for the best tv watching week of your life. If you don't get the book reference made above, you can read all about it here.

I tried to find that classic clip of the Tracy Morgan/ 30 Rock quote, but NBC's iron fist has apparently taken it down.

Tracy: But I want you to know something... You and me, it's not gonna be a one-way street. 'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I'm driving.
Kenneth: Oh, OK.
Tracy: So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.

followed by another namecheck in a different episode-
Kenneth: Didn't you tell me to live every week like it's Shark Week? And that nothing's impossible except dinosaurs?

Just Copy and Paste

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when your IM is annoying you- let the finger fly.
thanks Frank (via Ben at Secretly Canadian)! (although if the intention for this was not of the friendly sorts, then f**k you too!)

Looks who's back!

Peaches. Corn. Rooftops. Baseball. S/S Friends Canvas Shorts. Totes Probs Babes.
After quite a long blog sabbatical, we are totes back in season! Just in time for Summah fun!


On the ol 08 To Do List:

1. The Return to 12 Seneca: New characters, new hot tub cover, new plot twists, new kegerator, same Tan Dan.
Don't miss the 2nd annual FI Field Day, winners get free tribal tattoos and a case of Coffee Patron!



2. Tubing + Camping: We join forces with the boys of the NY Surf Club to float down a river while recording a collaborative reggae jam and balancing plates on our heads. Celebrity Circus, eat your heart out.

3. Outdoor Concerts: Spoon. Sonic Youth. MGMT. Black Lips. Spoiler alert - you do NOT want to see Bob Dylan at Prospect Park. Trust me, juuuust trust me.

4. Red Hook Food Coma: I want my papusa, corn, mango, chocolate dipped frozen key lime pie on a stick, Swedish meatball, cupcakes and drinks on the roof on Rocky Sullivan's. And then lets go get some dinner 'round there, k?

5. El and Al Shaps in NYC: Best. Karaoke. Duet. Ever.


6. I Love Money on VH1: Holy shit, the Best Week Ever, Joel McHale and bloggers around the world are wetting themselves over this insanely genius show. I seriously hope Heather and Midget Mac hook up.

7. Governor's Island: Did you know they have free bikes over there? Boat me on over to see dem waterfalls!

8. The Dark Knight: Heath, I miss you. Christian, I love you. Batman series, I worship you. (But how will you hold up against my adoration for Ironman??!!)


9. Aunthood: I will spoil those kids rotten and teach them how to chomp, make 7 layer dip and mix cocktails.


10. The Olympics: If there is one thing I love, its good ol fashion American domination and bawling my eyes out over those damn athletes overcoming obstacles stories.

Rounding it all out: Jack's annual 3rd of July Cookout, Wet Hot American Summer @ McCarren Pool July 8, Wolf Parade @ T5 July 30 + 31, Walking with the Dinosaurs @ MSG on Aug 3, margs, chips, salsa, rinse, repeat...who's comin with me?

Rach's Bday Party Flyer

St. Favre

Could this pull at your heartstrings anymore? I'm weeping.