New weekly segment

I'm implementing a new weekly segment for the enjoyment of our readers titled "Favorite South Park Moments"

It's pretty self-explanatory what it will be about, so hopefully you, our faithful reader, enjoy the show as much as I do. So in the immortal words of Towlie, "wanna get high?"



This episode may rank up next to "Stan's Mutant Twin" as my all time favorite episode.
You can watch the full one here- www.allsp.com season 5 "Towlie"

Party Wrecker 911

I've just learned via MSN that there are 5 types of guests who can potentially ruin you summer soirees. Bottom line - avoid inviting me to parties whenever possible. They do provide helpful tips on how to deal with your not so perfect friends so perhaps there is hope afterall...

The Spiller
He's animated, gregarious, and larger than life -- and it's one of the reasons you love him so much.

The MO: Put a drink in his hands and he wreaks mass destruction on the walls, window treatments, and upholstery. It's hilarious when he spills beer on the barstool at your favorite watering hole; it isn't so funny when he's sloshed red wine all over your brand-new sofa.

The Fix: It's summer, so keep the drinks, food, and entertainment al fresco. That way, when The Spiller gears up to tell that story about his drunken fishing trip with the guys, cleanup is just a hose away.

The Clinger
She's your best friend and needs to know she's your #1, but having her taped to your side as you're prepping the eats and trying to greet all your guests is exhausting (not to mention downright annoying).

The MO: No matter how long she's known your friends, she just can't resist being at your side all night long.

The Fix: You indulge her 364 days a year, but the day of your party isn't the time for extreme one-on-one bonding. Take her aside before the party; explain that you've got a lot of guests coming and that you need to be a gracious hostess and spend time with everyone. Ask her to invite another friend she can cling to while you're busy socializing.

The Fish
As in drinks like one. She blended into the scenery during your college days, but she's becoming an endangered species now that most of you are older and a little wiser.

The MO: She doesn't show up at the party ready to get completely hammered -- it just happens. The same way it's been happening for the past eight years.

The Fix: Let's face it: You're hosting a party, not an intervention. As Dr. Phil says, "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."So cut down on the late-night drama and ask her to spend the night beforehand. When you see that glazed look come over her, guide her straight into the bedroom to sleep it off.

The Fun Sucker
Otherwise known as "Debbie Downer."After a few minutes of her doomsday stories, your guests will be running to refill their drinks or -- even worse -- for the door.

The MO: Incapable of reading signs of distress and discomfort in others, The Fun Sucker's cloud can darken any room as she extols upon everything from the failing economy to her dysfunctional bowels.

The Fix: Stop her from cornering your guests by keeping the party circulating and the conversation flowing. Make food an event by setting up stations (think pizza or burgers with all the fixings or Southern barbecue with lots of sides). Games of all sorts -- not just athletic ones -- help keep the company and conversation light. If that doesn't work, take your friend aside and ask her to help you prepare dessert or man the grill. Distract her from depressing your guests!

The Vince Chase
You know, the guy with the entourage. He might not be as good-looking as Adrian Grenier, but he's got his very own Turtle, Drama, and E -- and not one of them is a friend of yours.

The MO: He RSVPs for one but always shows up with four or five other dudes. Your bash is just one of the stops on his all-night party circuit.

The Fix: If you want your summer party to be an intimate gathering of very close friends, you might want to think twice about inviting your own Vince Chase. If this is a summer blowout of massive proportions, invite him with the knowledge that he'll have his posse in tow. The more the merrier, right?

When you plan ahead, any party can be a success, no matter who's on the guest list. The most important thing is to allow for your friends' unique personalities and work around them. After all, the point of hosting a summer soiree is to enjoy the company of your nearest and dearest -- with warts and all.

"Live every week like it's Shark Week"

If you haven't seen any of the new billboards around New York City for this year's upcoming Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, here's one for the scariest show of them all:

MEG: Sunset Shadow Showdown
"Once you see her MAC Sunset Shadow glow...it's too late."

Tune in July 27-Aug.2 for the best tv watching week of your life. If you don't get the book reference made above, you can read all about it here.

I tried to find that classic clip of the Tracy Morgan/ 30 Rock quote, but NBC's iron fist has apparently taken it down.

Tracy: But I want you to know something... You and me, it's not gonna be a one-way street. 'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I'm driving.
Kenneth: Oh, OK.
Tracy: So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.

followed by another namecheck in a different episode-
Kenneth: Didn't you tell me to live every week like it's Shark Week? And that nothing's impossible except dinosaurs?

Just Copy and Paste

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when your IM is annoying you- let the finger fly.
thanks Frank (via Ben at Secretly Canadian)! (although if the intention for this was not of the friendly sorts, then f**k you too!)

Looks who's back!

Peaches. Corn. Rooftops. Baseball. S/S Friends Canvas Shorts. Totes Probs Babes.
After quite a long blog sabbatical, we are totes back in season! Just in time for Summah fun!


On the ol 08 To Do List:

1. The Return to 12 Seneca: New characters, new hot tub cover, new plot twists, new kegerator, same Tan Dan.
Don't miss the 2nd annual FI Field Day, winners get free tribal tattoos and a case of Coffee Patron!



2. Tubing + Camping: We join forces with the boys of the NY Surf Club to float down a river while recording a collaborative reggae jam and balancing plates on our heads. Celebrity Circus, eat your heart out.

3. Outdoor Concerts: Spoon. Sonic Youth. MGMT. Black Lips. Spoiler alert - you do NOT want to see Bob Dylan at Prospect Park. Trust me, juuuust trust me.

4. Red Hook Food Coma: I want my papusa, corn, mango, chocolate dipped frozen key lime pie on a stick, Swedish meatball, cupcakes and drinks on the roof on Rocky Sullivan's. And then lets go get some dinner 'round there, k?

5. El and Al Shaps in NYC: Best. Karaoke. Duet. Ever.


6. I Love Money on VH1: Holy shit, the Best Week Ever, Joel McHale and bloggers around the world are wetting themselves over this insanely genius show. I seriously hope Heather and Midget Mac hook up.

7. Governor's Island: Did you know they have free bikes over there? Boat me on over to see dem waterfalls!

8. The Dark Knight: Heath, I miss you. Christian, I love you. Batman series, I worship you. (But how will you hold up against my adoration for Ironman??!!)


9. Aunthood: I will spoil those kids rotten and teach them how to chomp, make 7 layer dip and mix cocktails.


10. The Olympics: If there is one thing I love, its good ol fashion American domination and bawling my eyes out over those damn athletes overcoming obstacles stories.

Rounding it all out: Jack's annual 3rd of July Cookout, Wet Hot American Summer @ McCarren Pool July 8, Wolf Parade @ T5 July 30 + 31, Walking with the Dinosaurs @ MSG on Aug 3, margs, chips, salsa, rinse, repeat...who's comin with me?

Rach's Bday Party Flyer

St. Favre

Could this pull at your heartstrings anymore? I'm weeping.

I've Quite Enjoyed The Latter Half of 2007

ALL HAIL KING FAVRE!!!!

I'd like to go ahead and personally give the Green Bay Packers a shout out for making the 2nd half of 2007 such a great experience. It's been a long time since our team has been this dominant in the NFC and for the most part, the AFC,and it feels so good and natural for us to be in this position. I love my team, always have, so seeing them back at the top really lifts my spirits despite what has been a pretty rough year for me (paging Emo Erickson).

And so onwards and upwards for my team- I predict the Superbowl, but as a diehard Packer fan, I shall remain pessimistic for the sake of superstitions. However, I'm pretty sure Jessica "tits" Simpson will be the downfall of Tony Romo and the hated Cowboys. Big ups to my sister, who scored us sweet seats for the Packers vs Bears game this weekend at Soldier Field. I'm hoping to find my blow up helmet for the occasion, but if not, boob paint will have to do. Stay tuned for pictures.

Before I launch into my Top 10 Albums of the Year and Top 5 live shows, I'd like to remind everyone about Karaoke Caroling this Thursday at 2nd on 2nd around 10:30p.
Rad. Now, onto the roundup:

1.Of Montreal- Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?
What a year it has been with this band. If you had asked me that we’d be where we are right now back in Sept 2006, I woulda said “Damn Gina, you crazy!” Basically none of us could have really known the answer, but in our heart of hearts, we all knew what a beast this record could be. And it’s frickin fun as shit!!!
2.Handsome Furs- Plague Park
Blasphemy you say?! Dan before Spencer?? I say yes. Actually I say yes with a killer springsteen meets elvis voice and a bumping drum machine to support it.
3.Sunset Rubdown- Random Spirit Lover
Spencer after Dan? Blasphemy you say?? I say yes. Can’t believe it, I love this disc will all of my heart. Who else can pull off a song called “Trumpet Trumpet Toot Toot” AND be destined to be my future husband? But the one thing that separates this album from #2 is memories. I put on Handsome Furs and I can immediately remember the time period when I first started listening to it. Magical. Both records have stood up quite nicely with the tests of time.
4.Daft Punk- Alive 2007
Dear God, it’s me Dana. Just wanted to give you a shout out for capturing the best concert of ’07 so perfectly. Never has my workout been so fun. Who knew weights could double as glow sticks?
5.Mgmt- Oracular Spectacular
Besides wanting to do naughty things to the lead singer, this debut album has shaken and stirred me with a dash of tart. So much fun from beginning to end. This band is a keeper. Did I mention I want to do naughty things to the lead singer?
6.Ween- La Cucharacha
Hilarity realized. Listen to “Your Party” and try and tell me you didn’t laugh out loud. Also one of my favorite shows of the year. I paid dearly for that night for days after.
7.Port O’Brien - The Wind and The Swell
Nautical imagery? Check. Shout out loud singalongs? Check plus. Next record is even better than this? Shazaaaaam!!!
8.LCD Soundsystem-LCD Soundsystem
"All My Friends". Nuff said.
9.Radiohead- In Rainbows
It's Radiohead. Duh.
10.The Teeth- You’re My Lover Now
I love this band, so why not include their new record. It may not be in constant rotation, but when it is, as MceDee's says, "I'm lovin' it"

Honorable mentions:
Voxtrot, Thurston Moore, Turbo Fruits, Band of Horses

Top 5 Live Shows of the Year:
1. Daft Punk – Keyspan Park- if I had the ability to get a boner, this would be the time to have one.
2. Wolf Parade- Warsaw
3. Ween- Terminal 5
4. Of Montreal- Roseland
5. LCD Soundsystem- Studio B/ Coachella

Stay classy New York City.

Fire Island Mustache Ride

A legendary Fire Islander once tenderly said...

Another Fire Island weekend gone
And we are back to the grind.
Essential Friends, Memories, and Oils
Always On My Mind.
-Sebastian Gettoit

Here's a brief review of the essential memories that we've been creating out in Ocean Bay Park this summer:


12 Seneca Family Portrait, pictured clockwise from top left : Sinbad, Wendles, Dino, Shaps, Wiscod, Dan the Man (our House Manager and supplier of glow sticks), Barfy, Crashers and Mega


Billy exploits Mere's generosity, forces her to purchase expensive beer and then uses the kegs to pump up his bis, tris and lats to impress jabronettes by the OOL - typical!


Meet the Bikini Brothers, best damn tits on the entire beach! Deer mothers, hide your fawns!



Dropping it like its hot and limbo-ing are very closely related, I think they're first cousins


This just in, straight from the duck phone, WE WON, WE TOOK NEW HAMPSHIRE!



We don't steal bikes, we borrow them...


Linds, you crazy bitch....


...we've been putting knives in our mouths since before you were even born!!


Right after her 6th Red Bull, Mere did 800 sit ups, 400 push ups, got in a fight and sprinted all the way to the Pines to loan her outfit to a friend.



A totes tenderoni moment as we ferry off into the sunset, we miss you Fire Island but we will see ya real soon...xoxoxo

More More More B-day!

Like a true rock star, Dana (with scuffed chin, warped neck and lingering hangover from the notorious bat mitzvah) couldn't help but continue to rock out on her real b-day yesterday. To celebrate, a group of us gathered in the basement of Izu for what turned out to be a karaoke war with show tunes loving weirdos. Appearances by Hal "I will sing anything put in front of me" Horowitz, Steve "Agro for my Destiny's Child song" Hahnel and even Dave and Paula "We just came from the Shenandoah Valley" Erickson, really added to the evening.
Big b-day ups to Dane for her rousing rendition of Rebel Yell, rivaling her amazing performance of Mother at the X-Mas Karaoke Extravaganza last December. Her vocals were strong, her moves were equally awkward and awesome and her commitment to the snarling punk anthem was beyond admirable! We rewarded her efforts with a b-day present that keeps on giving: a new tattoo (not a another sunshine on her wrist, damn it!!!!) that will help her remember her two little BFs forevs and evs.

HAPPY B-DAY DJ BUTCH, WE LOVE YOU!

Dive for Rocks!

I try to resist doing anything that Billy says including, but not limited to, diving for rocks and touching electrified gum. But the fans have spoken and TPB must appease! This week TPB celebrated Rachel's awesome new job and Dana's 28th birthday. Both parties were beyond cray cray and I've enjoyed every minute of recapping Rachel and Dana's actions back to them - it is rare that I am in a position of such power! Actions speak louder than words, so here's some pictures of the gang in action.



There is only 1 possible thing going through Rachel's head: "Take my pants off"



The Norwhale mating dance.



The grand entrance.



Is that a Beastie Boy?



Push it real good!



Dr. Dre meets Sparkle Motion.



Jay to the rescue!

Things that make you go... it's 1992!

Quick recap of Tuesday night's Sam Champion madness. They kicked so much ass. I was beaming like a proud mother for my boys.

Here's my attempt at rock photography...

after their set, a dance circle erupted due in part to the hot beatz being played and Yaps' rollover bachelor party

Last week I took care of a rad dog named Pip, alluded to in Mega's post, well here's a great photo of him that I took at the office. Ain't he a lil'Nugget. And no, he's not a rat, as I heard someone inquiring behind me while I walked him.

Things I'm looking forward to in the next week or so:

1. My frickin bday!!!!! I'm turning 28!
In the past year I have:
started a new job, stopped dying my hair, moved to Brooklyn, maintained my sanity...barely
In the past year, I have not:
stopped partying, stopped loving Wolf Parade and all assorted side projects, found an outlet to take out my love for spencer on(wha wha wha...shut up)

But I have realized I've come a long way from this:
Jamal Tang is rockin the mullet and I don't believe i've dressed girlier before or since this photo- which was taken at her bat mitzvah in '92. We're reliving it this Saturday night at Loreley. Yes, a bat mitzvah at a German Beer Garden. Only a goy like me could be so genius. Thank Moses Jamal is legitimately Jewish...

2. Shreddin' Sunday at Jay's- I may be a little rusty, but at least I know Nick is on the same page as me.

3. Getting a new tattoo. what what! i'd post what i'm getting, but then one of you wannabes would steal it.

4. Seeing Handsome Furs, not once, but twice.... and possibly having may parents come to wednesday's show at the Mercury Lounge. Strange, you think? Not really- my rents took me to my very first concert when I was 7... Bon Jovi at Alpine Valley. Best view in the house, sitting atop my giant father's shoulders in the grass seats... and by grass I mean all the pot smoking hair metal bitches my dad was trying to keep me away from.

5. Karaoke on my real bday... I've been practicing Rebel Yell.. so back off bitches!

New York I Love You, But You're Bringing me Down

That's pretty much how I felt yesterday for the following reasons:

a. I fell while walking to work. I was rounding the corner from my street onto Houston and slipped on something and went down hard in front of 10 construction workers. Scraped up my whole leg, embarrassed myself, but pretended to be fine. 2 blocks later I stopped and screamed obscenities for a little bit. Great start to the week.

b. The guy at Dunkin' Donuts effed up my coffee order - again.

c. Work drama.

d. Elissa "I like to ruin Monday's for Meredith" Brown took me to a bar where they were doing a poetry reading and we had to whisper while we drank. BS!

But, like the light at the end of a tunnel, LCD Soundsystem turned everything around and ended my night with an amazing set at Webster. I'm almost positive it was the same set they did at Studio B on Saturday but it was only a quarter as hot in there and I could actually see so it seemed like a completely different experience. As soon as All my Friends came on the crowd really started letting loose and the rest of the night was fantastic.

After the show Elissa and I had the best/worst idea ever and decided that one Saturday this summer we are going to have St. Mark's Day. Basically we will spend and entire day just eating and drinking on St. Mark's and see how long it takes us to get from 3rd Ave to Thompkins Square Park. We'll stop for karaoke, perhaps a falafel, margaritas at La Palapa, pick up some goth clothes - it will be genius. If things get too out of hand we figure we can just get a room at the St. Mark's Hotel for the night. Almost forgot, the best part of this plan is that we will first meet at the 11th street flea market where we will all draw one of our friend's names and spend up to $30 on an outfit for them to wear during our St. Mark's adventure. I really hope I draw Balint's name. Robots are fun.

Adventures in Brooklyn and Beyond

I went into this past weekend with extremely high expectations and was not disappointed in the least. As most of you know I am currently OBSESSED with LCD Soundsystem and have been looking forward to Saturday's Studio B show since I bought the tickets back in February. James Murphy is totes my hero and has taught me that I am unusually good at rave dancing with glow sticks. So good in fact that some of my friends are scared. The same friends who go to Burning Man and wore light up outfits to the show on Saturday. I'm just going to take their fear as a compliment. The show was fantastic from start to finish (they even played Someone Great!)and my only complaint was that it was hotter than the dance tent during mid-afternoon at Coachella up in Studio B. I poured my own drink over my head at one point to cool off. Eventually I just gave into the heat and continued to dance until the very end. Then I snagged somebody else's car to get home and will probably have bad taxi karma for years to come.







Other highlights of the weekend:

Rachel telling the guy at Rosarios it was ok to give us cold pizza since we were holding up the line.

Talking about Norwhales.

Park "whoring"

Blowing skank whistles

Pip.

Eating our way through Red Hook - chocolate covered key lime pie on a stick, mounds of Mexican goodness, corn, lemonade, mango, etc.





Watching Billy drop his cell phone down a sewer grate in front of the Lodge only to have the Mexican Macguyver and half of the bar come to his rescue and successfully return his phone to him. The entire place clapped when this happened. Sidenote, while sent on a mission to get duct tape to save said phone, Billy also returned with trick gum that shocked you. Amazing.



Niki and Elissa's costumes.



Jack's B-day BBQ. Sure I'll eat a chicken sandwich to wash down my hotdog. Yum!

Don't Call it a Comeback....

Cause we never really left. We just stopped writing about all of the important and amazing things we had been doing. Watch out because all of that is about to change! Between the summer concerts, music festivals, Fire Island adventures, and encased meat consumption at various BBQs this summer it is going to be hard to get us to shut up. Smile, you love us!

Coachella 2007: The Quest for Baja Fresh is Completed

We also were hired as playpen models while in LA for 5 minutes. Bikini bitches on a bouncey castle is our next gig.

Del's favorite musical happenings in 2006

It was a solid year for music and I've decided to make a list of my top 20. Here it goes:

20. Sonic Youth- Rather Ripped
19. Beck- The Information
18. Yo La Tengo- I'm Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass
17. The Coup- Pick A Bigger Weapon
16. Man Man- Six Demon Bag
15. Beirut- Gulag Orchestra
14. Destroyer- Destroyer's Rubies
13. Tapes 'N Tapes- The Loon
12. Liars- Drums Not Dead
11. Joanna Newsom- Ys
10. The Decemberists- The Crane Wife
9. Gnarls Barkley- St. Elsewhere
8. Sunset Rubdown- Shut Up I Am Dreaming
7. Thom Yorke- The Eraser
6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Show Your Bones
5. Lily Allen- Alright, Still
4. Cat Power- The Greatest
3. The Raconteurs- Broken Boy Soldier
2. The Knife- Silent Shout
1. TV on the Radio- Return to Cookie Mountain

Now for my fave songs of the year (in no particular order with the exception of TV on the Radio's "Wolf Like Me" which is easily the greatest single that came out in 2006)

"Crazy"- Gnarls Barkley
"Knock 'Em Out"- Lily Allen
"The Greatest"- Cat Power
"Roscoe"- Midlake
"Blue Veins"- The Raconteurs
"We Used to Vacation"- Cold War Kids
"And I Was A Boy From School"- Hot Chip
"Be Mine Everyone"- Sam Champion
"Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken"- Camera Obscura
"Ridin'"- Chamillionaire
"Summersong"- The Decemberists
"Sad Sad City"- Ghostland Observatory
"Get Myself Into It"- The Rapture
"Wolf Like Me"- TV on the Radio
"I DOn't Feel Like Dancin'"- Scissor Sisters
"We Are the Ones"- The Coup
"English Bwudd"- Man Man
"Cellphone's Dead"- Beck
"Dani california"- Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Silent SHout"- The Knife
"European Oils"- Destroyer
"Young Folks"- Peter, Bjorn and John
"In the Morning"- Jumior Boys
"Smiley Faces"- Gnarls Barkely
"Insistor"- Tapes 'N Tapes
"Black Swan"- Thom Yorke
"Pull Shapes"- The Pipettes
"Hospital Beds"- Cold War Kids
"Yours To Keep"- The Teddybears
"Gold Lion"- Yeah yeah yeahs
"Fake Tales of San Francisco"- The Arctic Monkeys
"Totes Probs Maybs Theme Song"- Jack Dolgen
"Steady As She Goes"- The Raconteurs
"Massive Nights"- The Hold Steady
"The Funeral"- Band of Horses
"Pushover"- The Long Winters
"Smile"- Lily Allen
"You Eyes Are Liars"- Sound Team
"Sexy Back"- Justin Timberlake
"Like A Pen"- The Knife
"Ain't No Other Man"- Christina Aguillera
"Multiply"- Jamie Lidell
"Wildcat"- Ratatat
"Another One Goes By"- The Walkmen
"Star Witness"- Neko Case
"They Took A Vote and said No"- Sunset Rubdown
"Mr. Tough"- Yo La Tengo
"Winter Tour"- Britta Persson
"Incinerate"- Sonic Youth"
"Let's make Love and Listen Death From Above"- CSS
"Joker and the Thief"- Wolfmother
"Good Weekend"- Art Brut
"Goin' Against Your Mind"- Built to Spill
"The Book I Write"- Spoon

My Top Ten of 2006

What a year it has been for music! My second post for the fall has to do with what albums really carried me through 2006. I also recently discovered flickr photo searches. hours of stalking entertainment. Here's an abridged version of what ruled my world. Hopefully i'll be able to muster up the time to explain my choices. Stay tuned for Mega and Shaps' lists.
xo wiscod

1. Sunset Rubdown—Shut Up I’m Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings

2. Swan Lake—Beast Moans

3. TV on the Radio—Return to Cookie Mountain
4. The Hold Steady- Boys and Girls in America
5. Band of Horses- Everything All The Time
6. Grizzly Bear- Yellow House
7. The Big Sleep- Son of the Tiger
8. The Thermals- The Body, The Blood, The Machine
9. Ferraby Lionheart- s/t ep
10. Final Fantasy- He Poos Clouds

When The Going Gets Tough...

Wiscod decides to keep blogging.

So i've decided to try and keep Totes Probs Maybs alive, even if Probs...Maybs.... aren't involved. We'll figure something out. But I was thinking... where else am I going to be able bore you with the details of my Danzig kick? Certainly not face to face! So without further ado... I give you this:



Enjoy!

We Ain't Dead!

OUR MAIN MAN FERRABY LIONHEART IS ON THE BILL. PLEASE COME CHECK HIM OUT!

DJ DEL ON THE MIX

FRI, NOV 3rd STUDIO B IN BILLYBURG

The show, which will be at Studio B in Brooklyn, will also feature live sets from Birdmonster, Ra Ra Riot, Sam Champion, Echo Station, plus a few more surprise guests.
Tickets are a super-cheap $10! All the bands will be playing full sets. And we got one or two surprises up our sleeves.

Here's the link to buy tickets:
http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=72532